It's Never Simple
by xHeAvEnLyx
Summary: On the train ride to Hogwarts, Harry and his friends meet a new girl named Clara from America who they become close friends with. But is Clara really who she seems? Will she come in the way of friendship? And why is Hermoine acting so strangely?
1. Breaking Down

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters**

**Be Nice everyone! These first chapters are kind of slow but it gets better I promise!**

How do you ever move on when the only person that you feel safe with, that you actually feel like they are a parent to you, what do you do when they die? Harry found himself thinking this same exact thing as he sat in his room on Privet Drive.

He had had the whole entire summer to evaluate what had happened that day, when Sirius died. While everyone tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, Harry never believed a word of it. Because no matter what they said, he always knew that if it wasn't for him constantly trying to be the hero, that Sirius would still be alive.

_He isn't alive though_, Harry reminded himself once again. He always had to remind himself that no matter how many times you think of the "what ifs", they never make him come back.

"Okay, I need to stop thinking about Sirius and start packing!" Harry whispered to himself out loud. He was packing to go on his annual summer trip to Ron's right before he was due to return to Hogwarts. Usually Harry was psyched to go to his wizarding school, but this time it was different. Somehow, when Sirius died, Hogwarts lost some of its appeal to Harry. Sure, he liked it a lot better then being stuck with his menacing relatives, but it no longer seemed like the same exciting place he used to love. Harry supposed that this was just because he was sad right now, but deep down he knew that it was really because Sirius' dying made him almost numb to real emotion.

It's not like Harry's friends didn't TRY to make him feel better, because they did. Hermione and Ron were relentlessly writing him letters that all seemed to say the same thing:

_**Harry, how could you even think that that was your fault? You know that Sirius wouldn't want you blaming yourself. He would want you to be happy. Please try to cheer up Harry.**_

Harry.Hermione sent about thirty letters that all seem to read the same to They all said that Sirius would have wanted him to move on and be happy. And then there were Ron's letters:

**_Mate, you really need to stop beating yourself up about this. Were all sad about him being gone, but there is no use blaming anyone for it. Maybe you should come over soon to play a game of Quiddith, we can see if that won't cheer you up!_**

Ron's attempt at cheering Harry up worked better than Hermione's letters did. With Ron's letters he was actually amused by the fact that Ron tried to make it sound as if flying on a broomstick would make Harry forget it all.

He couldn't blame his friends for trying though, because he knew that he was being difficult. All those years Harry had been fully cooperative and happy regardless of what his life was like. For once, Harry wasn't being all fine and dandy, he wasn't going to try and be happy if he really wasn't. The Dursley's found this out soon after Harry's arrival back home.

"HARRY, COME DOWN FOR BREAKFAST OR YOU WON'T GET ANY!" yelled Aunt Petunia in her aggravatingly high pitched voice.

It had not been a particularly good night for Harry, seeing as his very best friend, confident, and godfather died just months before.

"I'm still sleeping, but if you insist, " said Harry rather irritated.

As he came down the stairs, Harry noticed that nothing had changed since he last left; it was still the same ole house on Privet Drive. The only thing that seemed to alter was Dudley; oddly enough, he seemed even bigger than before, regardless of the diet.

"Hurry up and eat, Harry. I need you to clean the house. Dust, mop, sweep, and clean everything. I want this house spotless." Aunt Petunia looked at Harry as if he was a piece of garbage that was laying in her way as he walked to sit down.

"Oh, wow sounds like fun. What for?" Harry replied grumpily.

"Don't talk to your Aunt that way or I'll throw you on the streets to fend for yourself." Uncle Vernon spat as he glared at Harry.

"It is not like you can, remember? The only reason why I'm still here is because you have to keep me."

"And don't you forget it." Uncle Vernon answered growing slightly red in face.

Harry just sighed and started playing with his food; he was well aware that his Uncle was staring at him. "What is the matter with you boy? I don't like this new bitterness and attitude coming from you."

Harry gave a slight laugh, "What is the matter with me… well, hmmm, I think lets start with the fact that I have a psychotic wizarding Lord trying to murder me. He has tried five times by the way and came close to succeeding too; I guess your pretty disappointed about that, I mean if I would of died that would have been a load off your mind, huh?"

Uncle Vernon blinked with fright and replied while gritting his teeth, "I told you not to speak of that codswallop in my house."

"Well, you asked for it didn't you? Now let me continue; after the wizard tried to kill me, my godfather comes in to try and save me but ends up dying. He was pretty much like the father I never had, which oddly enough, was also killed by Lord Voldemort. Now I stuck again with you people and probably going back to Hogwarts where another plan by Voldemort to assassinate me, will be waiting! And that is what's the matter with me, my dear Uncle." Harry was now screaming it at his unusually purple Uncle. He slammed his fork down that he had clenched so hard while he was yelling and stormed out of the kitchen.

"Don't you run away from me! Never speak of it in the house; that is my rule!" Uncle Vernon had gotten up and was now boring down upon Harry who was still fuming. Harry glared at his Uncle with such loathing at that moment, but Uncle Vernon didn't even notice as he billowed, "I DON'T CARE IF YOUR GODFATHER DIED, YOU WILL RESPECT ME IN MY HOUSE! I WILL NOT BE YELLED AT BY AN INGRATE WHO THINKS SOMEONE IS TRYING TO MURDER HIM." Uncle Vernon's face was the darkest shade of purple Harry had ever seen before. He was surprised at how easy it was to yell at his Uncle, after all those years of keeping silent.

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU BELIEVE ME; YOU STILL TRY AND TELL YOURSELF THAT MAGIC DOESN'T EXIST FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH BEING NORMAL?"

Uncle Vernon had the most ridiculous look on his face as he took in Harry's words. Harry stared at his Uncle's face as his lips started to pucker and his head seemed to be getting skinnier. Uncle Vernon's face started to look like a sea-mouth bass before Harry discovered what was happening to his Uncle...

"Oh, no… This is what happens when I get mad!" Harry shook his head at his uncle. Now the ministry would have to come and fix this, just like how they had to with his "aunt". All of the people from the ministry must think he was an angry monster to keep blowing up his relatives like this.

Uncle Vernon's face had now become almost as flat and skinny as a cereal box. It was growing smaller by second too, and now Aunt Petunia and Dudley were standing in the hall looking both scared and angry, "Make it stop, right now!" Aunt Petunia ordered Harry with a glower.

"Sorry, but I can't." Harry then strolled steadily up the stairs as if Aunt Petunia wasn't acting like the end of the world was near. She was still screaming at him as he slammed the door and tried to climb out of his bedroom window.


	2. Surprising Draco Malfoy

Harry smiled as he thought of that memory, _I am so glad to get out of here_. He finished putting the last of his books in his trunk and closed it up. Harry sighed as he looked around his room for anything he might have missed, but came up with nothing. He was leaving at three o'clock for a stay at the Weasley's house and he was anxious to leave.

Being at the Dursley's after the "incident" wasn't very fun and he couldn't wait to get out of there. Being away from them would be good for him; Harry decided, it was always good for him before.

Now it was only 5:12 in the morning and Harry still had HOURS left sitting there waiting to leave. Harry sighed, as he laid down in his bed, hoping that he could actually sleep. He hadn't been much of a sleeper over the past few weeks; Harry felt like there were too many things going threw his mind to be able to sleep. But oddly enough, knowing that he was going to get away from the Dursley's was comfort enough as Harry drifted off to sleep.

"HARRY!" he turned around and there was Hermione going in for a hug. "It's good to see you. How are you?" she asked this with genuine concern, but Harry couldn't help but feel a little bit annoyed by this continuously asked question.

"Hey, we'd better get going upstairs before my mom finds out you're here already, Harry; she'll start—" Ron was cut off as his mother came flying in the room.

"Why didn't anyone tell me that Harry was here? Oh dear, how are you? I've been so worried about you! We all heard about that incident with your uncle." Mrs. Weasley was smiling at Harry in a sympathetic way, which wasn't annoying coming from Mrs. Weasley. He was still kind of ashamed about everyone knowing what happened with his uncle, but the shame was short lived.

Harry even managed a smile as he replied back, "Err, I am fine Mrs. Weasley really. No..No need to worry."

"Er, uh Harry, Hermione and I should all go upstairs mom and get settled in." Ron quickly added before his mother could say a word.

"Well, I guess that would be a good idea, but we'll talk later dear!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed with a chippery tone, but the teenagers were already going up the stairs before she even finished her sentence.

As Hermione closed the door to Ron's room Harry looked about for anything different, but everything in the room was the same. The same Quidditch players in orange were still posted across Ron's walls and the same small bed was still in the same place. The way that Ron's room never changes always amuses Harry, but his amusement was put on hold as Hermione returned from closing the door.

"What happened with your uncle, Harry?"

Harry didn't exactly know how to explain what happened. I mean he didn't want to just flat out say, I had a mental breakdown and then made my uncle's head shrink! So instead he just put it simply and answered, "He asked me what was the matter with me and I told him." Harry could see their eyes get wide with shock. They were probably amazed at how stupid Harry was for telling his relatives all of that, but Harry knew it was stupid and he didn't need them telling him that.

"What exactly did you tell him?" inquired Ron who was quite obviously trying to ask his question delicately.

"Well, I just said that Sirius died."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up as she quickly responded, "Really? You would get that mad just by telling him that?"

Harry sighed; he knew that he was going to have to tell them every little detail of what happened. "Well I may have mentioned a little bit about Voldemort trying to kill me five times." He continued to tell them the rest of what happened, but shed some good humor on the story so it wasn't totally embarrassing.

When he was finished Ron was smiling and shaking his head, "'Bout time you showed those muggles who they're messing with."

"Ron, you know Harry shouldn't get himself into trouble like that!"

"It's not like I mean to; it just happens. Just be glad I don't get angry that often." Harry added with a smile. He was a lot happier now that he was with his best friends and Harry was finally starting to feel like he was going to be okay.

The stay with Ron went by faster than could ever be imaginable. It was the best time Harry had since Sirius had died and he knew that Hermione and Ron were just trying to make this time easier. And they did, the entire stay was full of jokes and warm dinners with the entire family. Before Harry knew it, it was time to go to platform nine and three-quarters.

"Harry and Ron, did you remember to pack all of your books?"

"Yeah, they are all in here, Mrs. Weasley." She smiled at Harry and mumbled words of approval before scurrying along and getting the other children ready.

"Fred and George gave me some of there newest products, it's called Blinding Butterscotch and Clowning Caramel." Ron exclaimed excitedly, gave Harry a smirk, "Maybe we should try them out on Malfoy, I'd bet that would be enjoyable."

After everyone and their luggage were piled cozily into the car, the Weasleys, Hermione, and Harry all set off for the train station, anxious to see their old friends.

"Er uh, so Harry, what's new with you?" asked Mr. Weasley rather uncomfortably. For some reason, the whole entire Weasley family was wary of asking Harry how he was doing. Probably because they were afraid he was going to throw another "temper tantrum". Harry's cheeks grew slightly pink as he thought about what happened. He had tried not to be ashamed, but he was.

"Nothing really, just glad to be going back to Hogwarts."

The conversation continued to go on like this until finally, they had reached the train station and were guided towards the platform. Things went as usual; two by two all of the Weasleys started disappearing into the platform. Then, it was Harry and Ron's turn to go and for some reason, Harry half expected something to happen, like what happened in his second year when the gate seemed to be blocked.

Nothing did happen, however, and so Hermione, Ron and Harry all went to there usual private compartment in the back of the train and settled in. As the train started moving slowly away, all three of them waved goodbye to Mrs. Weasley, until she Apparated away.

"So who you reckon is going to be our new Dark Arts teacher?" questioned Ron as he turned back to face Harry.

"I don't care who it is, I am just glad that it won't be Miss Umbridge!" said Harry remembering that horrid women who had tried to take over the school.

"Ugh, don't remind me of that pompous woman," cried Hermione. Harry knew that she was thinking about the time that Miss Umbridge yelled at her.

Just then there was noise coming from the compartment in front of theirs and all three of them listened intently for signs that it might be Malfoy and his two cronies Crab and Goyle. As someone drew closer, they were all grasping there wands to get ready for him to walk threw the door.

"The second he opens it, blast him!" whispered Ron who was clearly going to enjoy this. Mere seconds later the door swung open and three spells hit the person in the doorway.

Harry's face grew pale as he saw that this wasn't Malfoy at all, it was a delicate blonde girl who was now sprawled on the floor.


	3. Behind Her Blue Eyes

**ok hey you guys..sorry that this story is taking a while to get going, but trust me, i've got some ideas! lol remember i dont own any of these characters except the ones i make up. and please be nice because this is my second fanfic. (btw, sorry that the spells i say that they did are so dumb. I just didn't know what to put!)**

Within an instant Harry rushed over to this girl's side to try and see who it was, but he had never seen her in his life. She was very peaceful looking while sprawled out on the floor in her white summer dress, thought Harry. As he stared at her, he realized why she was on the ground unconscious in the first place and asked, "What spell did you guys hit her with?"

"Clorman's Itching Spell"

"Frozen Still"

"Yeah I hit her with the Confusion Spell" Harry paused a moment while he looked down upon her, "Will she be alright?"

"Harry, don't worry she will be fine. I just hope she won't think we are horrible." Hermione said while looking down at the girl confused, "I have never seen her before have you?"

"No, and she couldn't be a first year. She looks older than that." Harry replied, now beginning to get intrigued.

Harry wondered how nobody in the other compartments saw or heard what happened to the girl, but then again the spells that they had procured had been purposely as silent and as invisible as possible.

"Mmmm…" moaned the tiny blonde girl.

"She's waking up…" said Ron who had seemed to be in a daze ever since the girl had gone unconscious.

"NO…really?" Hermione snapped sarcastically at Ron as she uncomfortably stared at the girl waiting for her to open her eyes.

Her head began moving as she twisted and turned on the ground, but after mere minutes she opened to reveal her breathtakingly blue eyes. "What the…?"

"I am so sorry, we thought you were someone else coming through that door! Are you alright?" Hermione questioned with deep concern.

"I'm…uh…okay, but um, who are you?" replied the still groggy girl as she sat up and looked around at them all.

"Well, we could ask the same for you." Harry added, curiosity getting the best of him.

Surprisingly the girl smiled at him and teased, "I guess I'll tell you who I am; even though you _did_ attack me!"

"By accident, of course!" chimed in Hermoine.

The blonde girl smiled yet again and replied, "Well, I got transferred here from a school in America because of a umm…misfortune. So now I am here, and I'm in my 6th year. Oh and my name is Clara Delmont. Yours?"

Just as Harry and Ron were eagerly about to open their mouths, Hermoine purposely beat them to it when she said, "Well I'm Hermoine Granger, that is Ron Weasley with the red hair over there and that is Harry Potter." Clara's eyes did get wide as she heard Harry's name, but she did not do that familiar flicker to his scar like so many people always did. Hermoine continued, "Anyways, why did you transfer?"

As Hermoine asked this, Harry noticed Clara's face winced a little bit and she bit her lip for a few seconds before responding, "Circumstances arose that made it impossible for me to stay in America. So now I am living with a family friend."

This response did not give Hermoine all the details that she wanted, so she tried to push further, "What kind o—"

"So, do you know what House you will be in?" Harry quickly said trying to stop Hermoine's unnecessary questioning.

"There are Houses?" Clara asked a little bit dismayed.

As Harry filled her in on all the details and traditions of Hogwarts, he had a feeling that he would be seeing a lot of Clara no matter what House she was in, especially by the way Ron was staring at her with pure admiration. And how could Harry blame him, there was no doubt that Clara was pretty. She was pretty in such a unique way though, that seemed to pull Ron in the second he laid eyes on her. With her beautifully pale blonde locks framing her face perfectly and the way her dress had fallen gracefully around her tiny body, could leave anyone breathless. Then, when Clara opened her eyes, it was like melting away into an insanely pale blue sea. You could drown in them, they were so deep and not even Hermoine could deny Clara's appeal.

**remember... R&R**


	4. New Friendships

"So you and Draco ain't exactly fond of each other are you?" Clara said with a smile after Harry told her who they thought she was when she slid open the compartment door. During the entire train ride, the three of them had all been joking and getting to know this new girl. Clara was a very fun girl and Harry hoped that she would be in the Gryffindor house.

Just then, Harry felt the train slow down and he shot a quick glance at the window before saying, "Were here."

It was odd, but Harry felt slightly comforted by the sight of his beloved school. Hogwarts always had a way of making him feel relaxed and at home. Now, as everyone was stepping off the train, he was back at home.

"Ugh, those creatures are ugly!" Clara squealed as she looked towards the carriages.

Ron and Hermoine just stared at Clara curiously before Ron's curiousity made his blurt, "You have to see someone die to be able to see those creatures." He gave a slight pause as if to decide whether or not to ask, but asking her won out in the end as he questioned, "Who have you seen…er…die?"

Clara stared intently at Ron for few minutes, which Harry noticed made Ron blush an odd shade of deep red, but after walking a few steps to the carriage she whispered, "My best friend".

Harry got wide eyed as Clara said this. He really did not know who this girl was, what had happened to her, where she came from. He seemed to not know anything about her, but he did know that she loved to joke. Harry noticed that within the first five minutes of talking with her. She loved to flash that smile of hers that seemed to light up a room. Other than that though, Harry thought that Clara was nothing but a mystery.

As they got into the carriage everyone seemed to be staring out the window, especially Clara who was fascinated by her new school, "Wow..."

"Different from your old school, huh?" replied Hermoine still looking out the window.

"Yeah, it's…bigger" answered Clara while she admired the school that was now her own.

They continued to chat while the carriages whisked towards Hogwarts. Soon the carriages lost their speed and everyone jumped out and sauntered into the shining halls of the school.

"Wher is Clara Dellmon'?" billowed a familiar voice in the crowd.

"Hagrid! How are you?" asked Hermoine the moment she saw her giant friend.

"Nev'r betta. Now do yer know dis Clara girl?" inquired Hagrid who seemed to be thinking of other things.

"Oh hey! I'm Clara." Clara chimed as Hagrid turned to look at her.

"Yer got'a come wit me now. We need ter put ya in a house," replied Hagrid who still appeared to be preoccupied.

"Are you alright Hagrid?" questioned Ron gently.

"Jus' a little tired tha's all," sighed Hagrid as he watched Peeves the poltergeist tease the first years. "Clara, we got ter get goin'."

"Okay, sure…" she said while waving goodbye to her new friends.

As she walked away with Hagrid, Hermoine was shaking her head, "I don't like that girl one bit. She seems to be hiding something."

Ron seemed stunned and furious that she would say that, "You don't even know her Hermoine! You only don't like her because you are nosy and she wouldn't tell you anything."

Hermoine did not like to be called nosy, even though everybody knew it was true. She was huffing as she spat, "Ron, what do you know. You only like her because you think she is gorgeous."

"Er… and your point?" asked Ron with a grin on his face.

"Ugh, you are impossible!" she said as she stomped away angrily.

"What's gotten into her?" asked Ron innocently.

"Don't ask me, half the time I don't even know what she's talking about" replied Harry as Ron and him both smiled and strolled into the Great Hall.

* * *

As Harry watched the first years being placed into their houses, he couldn't help wondering which house Clara was going to be in. He wanted to know because he hoped that she would be in Gryffindor with him. But there was no sign of Clara as the last first year was placed in Hufflepuff.

As Professor McGonagal cleared the stool and sorting hat away, Dumbledor stepped onto the stage. "My dear students, I am glad to see you all back hear for another year and some of you I am glad to see you for the first time." He paused as his eyes sparkled at everyone around him. "However, we have a new student here, who is not a first year at all. She has had to transfer to our school from America. I hope you all will make her feel welcome."

"He is talking about Clara.." added Ron who was listening excitedly. Harry could tell that Ron wanted the same thing that he did; and that was for Clara to be in their house.

"Since she was not a first year, we felt it best that she be sorted separately from the rest," replied Dumbledor who was smiling graciously at everyone. "Clara Dellmont, which house did the sorting hat place you in?"

As Clara was walking out onto the stage Harry was just as eager as Ron to know where Clara was going to be placed. She smiled, which seemed to illuminate the entire room as she said, "Gryffindor!"

The table cheered as she walked over and sat next to Harry, Ron and Hermoine. Ron just couldn't stop grinning at her and Harry kept on saying how glad he was that she was in their house, but Hermoine was silent. She did not seem to notice everything that was going on around her as she just stared at the tablecloth.

Harry didn't know what was bothering with her, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with the fact that Clara Dellmont was Harry and Ron's new friend.


	5. Don't Lie to Me

**Diclaimer: I don't own any of these characters except for the ones i made up****

* * *

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After Clara was placed in Gryffindor, Ron, Harry and Clara were inseparable, but Hermoine always found an excuse to leave whenever Clara came near and Harry was starting to get concerned. He did not understand what Clara did wrong to make Hermoine avoid her so much. Whenever Harry asked why she was doing this, Hermoine got angry and told him that he should know. After a while, Harry just gave up all together on figuring out what was wrong with Hermoine.

It had been almost a week since they all arrived at Hogwarts and everything was still new and exciting to Clara. She was interested in all that was going on around her and she was happy to have Harry and Ron to help her. Clara was a very disappointed though, that Hermoine seemed to not like her. Every time she asked Harry about it though, he told her that she was imagining it and that Hermoine was always like that. He didn't know how to tell her that Hermoine despised her and thought that she was a hiding something, so instead he denied that Hermoine had any hostility towards her.

These things were far from Harry's mind, however as he woke up on Monday and groaned, because he just remembered that he had Snape for double Potions in just an hour. He slowly got up to get dressed and went down to the common room dreading having to go to potions. Harry didn't know why, but he thought that it would be weird facing professor Snape after what happened to his Godfather. Snape always hated Sirius and now that he is dead, what will Snape do? _Probably have that smug smile on his face_, thought Harry, as he was about to go threw the porthole and down to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Harry! Wait up, I'll walk down with you," cried Clara who had been sitting in the common room. She was grinning, as usual and was wearing one of her famous "American" outfits. Since she had come to Hogwarts, everyone noticed how every single day she looked her best. Today she was wearing a brown plaid skirt with a cream cashmere top while her hair was curled and pinned flawlessly to her head. Harry smiled as she walked towards him and he wondered how she could look amazing every day.

"Sure…" sighed Harry as they both climbed out of the porthole.

"You don't sound very enthusiastic.." replied Clara curiously.

"We have double Potions today," answered Harry with a little more warmth before he added, "with Professor Snape."

"And Professor Snape is…bad?" asked Clara as she stared innocently at Harry.

"You'll find out soon enough, but for now lets just eat," responded Harry while shaking his head.

When they got down to the Great Hall Harry spotted Ron and Hermoine and motioned Clara to sit by them. Sure enough though, Hermoine made some excuse about getting to class early and scurried off while Clara sat down.

She looked slightly hurt as Hermoine ran off and then Clara turned to face Harry, "Still think I am imagining it, Harry?"

He didn't know what to say to this because there was no use in denying that Hermoine didn't like Clara. Yet, he didn't want to make Clara feel bad about Hermoine, it wasn't her fault after all. Harry sighed as he stared back at Clara, but he took to long in trying to think of what to say.

Clara rolled her eyes and got up from the table and added as she was walking away, "You didn't have to lie to me; you could have just said that she didn't like me."

As Harry watched Clara walk away Ron shook his head and grinned, "Very smooth, Harry."

Harry and Ron smiled to each other and finished their breakfast. Then, they headed down to the dungeons, where their classes were. Sure enough, Clara and Hermoine were already there. They weren't sitting by each other though, and when Clara saw Harry and Ron walk in, she looked past them and waved to someone that was behind them. As they turned around to see who it was they groaned.

"Hello Potter," said a familiar voice filled with venom. Draco Malfoy was sneering at them as they looked disgustedly from Clara to Draco. "You've got a very attractive friend over there, Potter. Too bad she'd rather talk to me then listen to you drone on." Malfoy's two cronies laughed at their leader's "joke" as Malfoy strode away towards Clara who smiled triumphantly at Harry.

Boy, did Clara know how to really piss Harry off. He was fuming as he sat down next to Hermoine and he stared at the pair of them. Clara was laughing at something that Draco had said and she gave a quick glance at Harry as she touched his shoulder. She was TRYING to make Harry angry, and by god, she was doing a fantastic job at it. If Harry would have known that Clara would get this mad at him for lying to her, he would never had done so. Harry quickly turned to Hermoine and whispered angrily, "She is doing this because of you, ya know."

"Harry, I haven't even talked to her."

"Yeah, and that is exactly the problem. When Clara asked me if you had a problem with her I said that you didn't because I didn't want to make her feel bad. Then when you walked away this morning she asked me again if you had a problem. When I didn't answer, she got mad," said Harry under his breath as Snape started taking attendance.

"Harry, that is not my problem, you shouldn't have lied. Now be quiet," snapped Hermoine while glaring at Clara.

Snape was already almost at the bottom of the list as he called out, "Ron Weasley"

"Here."

"And lastly we have Clara Dell—" Snape suddenly just stared at the piece of paper for a moment with an odd look in his eyes. They were softened somehow as he blinked at the name. When everyone started to look around at each other he shook himself back into reality, "Clara Dellmont," he finished.

"Here" she said a little perplexed by his behavior.

He stared at her for a moment and then tried to sound casual while he asked, "Is your mother by any chance Genevieve Dellmont?"

"Yeah…how did you—"

"Never mind." He said quietly as he tried to regain his composure. "Now class, today we are going to learn how to create a potion that will make you tell the truth."

Harry looked up as Professor said this, a truth potion? He had heard that before, except he had heard it as a threat. He remembered when Snape had threatened to give him a truth potion and find out all of his secrets. Harry hoped that that threat was long forgotten by Snape.

"Now I need all of you to break off into pairs," Snape ordered.

Clara was paired up with Malfoy. That was all Harry thought about the entire class. Why would she go to such great lengths to make him mad? All he did was try to protect her feelings. There was nothing wrong with that, but by the end of class, Harry was quite sick of seeing Clara smile brightly at his enemy.

"That idiot doesn't realize that Clara is doing this to make us mad." Ron said threw gritted teeth. Once again Harry didn't even notice that Ron felt the same exact way he felt, and that was enraged.

By the end of class, Harry was glad to get away from Snape who came around every five minutes and said, "Hmm, horrible job, Potter. Better improve this potion or I will have to give you a truth potion that I have made myself."

As everyone exited the class, Harry noticed that Clara stayed back a moment to talk to Professor Snape. _She's probably going to make friends with him too…_Harry bitterly thought as he walked to his next class.


	6. There to Comfort

As Harry went to the Great Hall with Hermoine and Ron, he was still upset about Clara. He didn't know what else to do, but apologize, to make her stop flirting with Malfoy. It had become too much for Harry to deal with; one of his best friends flirting with his rival. So as Harry approached the Gryffindor table, he spotted Clara and strode towards her.

"And so these are my Muggle friends that I am with and my friend who is a wizard just totally blasts them!" Clara was saying as Harry was standing beside her, waiting to apologize. She saw him and sighed, "Hello Harry," she said coldly.

"Clara, I am sorry." Harry blurted, not being able to handle her distantness.

"I bet you are," she replied, still sounding cold; this was harder then Harry thought it was going to be.

Harry pleaded with her, "I just didn't think it was my place to tell you. If you wanted to know you should have asked Hermoine, not me."

She turned towards him and stared into his eyes, as if to see if he was genuine. After a moment she seemed satisfied because she smiled and answered, "You're right, I'm sorry." She stood up to give him a hug and caught Harry a little off guard. He regained his composure as she embraced him and he could smell the sweet scent of her hair.

As she pulled away she grinned and teased, "You've got to admit though, it was hilarious seeing you get so furious when I flirted with Malfoy!" Clara laughed and Harry knew that the whole thing with Draco was nothing to worry about, which made him laugh right along with her. Harry only stayed to talk to Clara for a few more minutes before returning to his spot at the other end of the table.

As he went to go sit back down next to Hermoine, Ron snapped, "So did you and Clara have good time over there?"

Harry was so confused with this remark and could only think to respond, "What?"

"I bet you enjoyed that hug over there, huh?" Ron said accusingly.

It took a moment for Harry to really register what Ron was saying. He was jealous! Ron liked Clara and was mad that Clara hugged him. Now it all made sense to him as curiously asked, "Ron, are you jealous?"

Ron seemed a little surprised by this and didn't know what to say. He soon started sputtering nonsense like, "Well, bu—not really—it…. No!"

Hermoine seemed a little annoyed by Ron's denial and sharply said, "Stop denying it! We all know that you like her…"

Ron got a little pink as he looked down at his food and replied, "So what if I do?"

"Well, for starters, don't snap at me for hugging her when I didn't know you liked her in the first place." Harry said gently. He knew it was hard for Ron to admit these kinds of things.

"Yeah…sorry about that, mate," Ron responded grinning.

"It's all right, don't worry about it." Harry said lightheartedly while returning back to eating his food.

Ron continued staring at Harry before timidly asking, "So that hug… was it…?" he trailed off while still looking at Harry.

"Ron, she only hugged me because she's not mad at me anymore. Don't worry, she is all yours!" Harry answered with a smile. He was glad that Ron finally liked a girl, even though it was Clara. Harry wondered what Ron was going to do about his little crush too, especially because whenever he was around her, he became so unbelievably quiet. Harry just shrugged at this and continued laughing with his friends. He didn't want to have to think about this, he had a hard enough time with trying to pretend that he was happy.

* * *

That night, Harry fell asleep amazingly early considering that he hadn't slept over 7 hours during a whole entire week since Sirius died. All those nights, he had been too busy blaming himself time and again, but as he drifted off to sleep tonight however, his godfather was still fresh in his mind. Then he started to dream…

Harry was in a pitch dark room and couldn't see anything. All he could hear were soft whispers in the distance. As he slowly walked forward, a door came into focus. There was nothing extraordinary about it, but something pulled Harry to this door. Something made him want to open in.

When Harry did open the door though, the whispers turned into one shrill and deafening scream. He started to cover his ears from the scream that seemed to last for eternity, when he saw someone crumbled on the cold stone floor. Harry ran as fast as he could to this person, but as he ran he didn't seem to be getting any closer. He was pushing himself to keep going, but he was getting tired and didn't know how much longer he could run, when he saw someone pounce out from the dark.

Voldemort was the one that had popped up out of the dark and illuminated the room. He had an evil sneer on his face as he smiled at Harry. Soon Harry found out the reason for Voldemort's happiness. It was his dear godfather trembling on the ground, looking so terrible frail.

"He belongs to me now, Harry…" responded Voldemort who was looking intently at Harry's face.

Harry couldn't breathe, he couldn't think. Sirius was dead; he couldn't be under the reign of Lord Voldemort. It didn't make since.

"No! You can't have him.." Harry tried to shout, but nothing came out. He didn't know what to do because still, when he ran to his godfather's aid, he didn't come any closer to Sirius. Suddenly that familiar green flash of light bolted threw Harry's dream and caused him to awake in pure agony.

Harry's scar seemed like it was bursting, just like every other time he had a dream of the "green light". It was like someone had dropped 20 bricks on his head and burst it straight open. He continually rubbed his lightening shaped scar as he pondered the dream. Harry shook his head as he was trying to process it in his mind. _The last time I took a dream seriously, Sirius wound up dead…_He angrily thought to himself.

Harry found that he was being stupid. Dreams were dreams and they don't mean anything. Dreams are only the way your mind tries to work through your problems and it didn't take a genius to know that Sirius dying and Voldemort being insane were a constant problem on Harry's weighing mind. He was just trying to deal with these problems subconsciously, that's all.

Harry cringed as he tried to convince himself of this. He didn't want to believe the dream, but he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he should. For the first time in his life though, Harry ignored that sick feeling. He continued rubbing his scar as he was lying in bed and didn't understand why the pain wasn't going away as quickly as usual. Harry rolled over and tried to ignore the simmering pain, but it just wouldn't go away. After what seemed like hours, Harry gave up trying to sleep. He got dressed quickly and headed down the staircase.

He was surprised to see that the fire was still going, but that was probably because a lot of the first years liked to stay up real late. Harry thought that this was stupid because they had school the next day, but the first years would learn soon enough. As Harry approached the couch in front of the fire, he heard a whimpering noise.

Harry slowed his pace to a more quiet one, as he shuffled closer towards the sofa, but as he rounded the corner, he was shocked at what he saw.

Clara was there, wrapped in a little ball on the couch crying her eyes out while staring at a piece of paper. She didn't even notice Harry as she mindlessly blinked at the paper and let the tears roll freely down her face.

Harry didn't know what to do as he stared at her. Even when she was crying, she was still simply breathtaking. Her hair had a soft glow in the firelight and had a natural and irresistible curl to it. The way she titled her head gave Clara a playful look about her, even though she was reduced to tears. Her blue eyes were magically bluer with the watery tears spilling out of them and Harry couldn't speak. When Harry noticed her outfit, how it was a white silky dress sort of thing, he felt guilty for staring at her. He blushed and as he backed up, Clara noticed the movement in the corner of her eye and turned her attentions his way.

"Harry" she stuttered breathlessly. She knew that Harry had seen her crying, but she still didn't want to appear as if she was. She bowed her head quickly to wipe away the tears as she carelessly added, "I'm sorry, I was just—"

"Er, no I'm sorry I couldn't sleep so I came down. I, I didn't know…" Harry replied uncomfortably and avoiding eye contact.

"Yeah" she answered while looking into the fire. The way Clara looked so sadly into the blazing fire, she seemed so hurt and hopeless that Harry felt the desperate need to help this girl. He wanted to be the one to make her feel better.

"Er…Clara, are you alright?" Harry asked awkwardly. He was never any good at comforting people or anything like that, but Harry wanted to be good at it now.

She sighed as she wiped away another tear that leaked out of her still watery eyes as she replied, "You know I'm not, Harry. It's just…I got this letter and it's not…not very good news." Clara said this like she had difficulty accepting it and putting whatever happened into words. She looked down at the paper and placed it into Harry's hands, as he was about to open his mouth to question. "Read it," she said barely above a whisper.

_**My Dear Clara,**_

_**We have all missed you here back in California, but we hope you are having the best time in London! I personally am glad to see you out of the house, and living your life.**_

**_I know that you are probably having a wonderful time over there, but I am afraid I have to be the barer of bad news. Your mother, as we all know, hasn't been…well over these past few years. I took your mother to a doctor last week and he told us that she wasn't going to get any worse. That she would just stay how she is because the potion had reached its full effect. However, the doctor was wrong, my darling._**

_**I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but your mother fell desperately ill yesterday and just a mere hour ago, I found her dead. She was lying sweetly in her bed, and finally… she seemed at peace. I know that I should be there in person to tell you this, but I had to stay and work things out. I am so sorry, Clara. You have to know though, you lost your mother a long time ago. Ever since the potion started taking effect her soul seemed to be gone and she was no longer dear Genevieve. Now, she will no longer have to live a life full of the utter most pain and for that, you should be thankful. I have written to your headmaster, Dumbledor. I have met him before in my life, and he is a wise and compassionate man; he will make your life easier. Since I cannot be there for you Clara, I am sending some of your friends over there to help you threw this. Please write me back as soon as you see this so that I know you are all right. **_

_**With All the Love in the World,**_

_**Aunt Rosalind**_

As Harry remained staring at the gripping letter that he had just finished, his heart was aching. He could not believe that this was happening to playful and bubbly Clara. Harry looked up to see his dear friend and could see that she had let more tears roam down her flawless face.

She was starting to shake uncontrollably as she managed to sniffle, "She's…gone. I've known she was going to for so long, but now that she is…I can't—" Harry never discover what Clara couldn't do because she was never able to finish her sentence. Harry didn't know how to comfort his friend, but as she leaned her head on his shoulder to cry on, all he could think to do was wrap his arms around her.

Harry didn't know how long he had to cradle Clara in his arms before she stopped her sobbing. Even when she was done crying she still rested her head on his shoulder and he wished she wouldn't. Harry didn't like how he enjoyed having her soft head on his shoulder. He didn't WANT to think she was pretty or like the way she laughed. Harry didn't want to, but he did.

With Clara's head still lingering near his should she turned so she could look him in the eye. Harry noticed how close her face was to his and he could also notice that she had cute and tiny freckles across her nose. She was still beautiful even from close up, especially from close up actually. Clara looked at Harry and asked sincerely, "Why are you so nice to me Harry?"

Harry was slightly taken aback. Why wouldn't he be nice to her? There was nothing about Clara that would make him be anything but nice to her. As he took a minute to ponder she searched in his eyes for an answer until Harry spoke what he was thinking, "I don't know if anyone would be able to be mean to you Clara." He returned her gaze as she gave a sheepish sort of smile.

"Plenty of people are able…" she whispered more to herself then Harry before she added, "Thank you…for staying with me you know." She gave him a forced smile to show her appreciation, then, went back to resting her head on his shoulder. She didn't cry, like Harry thought she was going to. All she did was stare at the floor… it seemed as if she couldn't cry any longer. Clara was so overcome with sadness that Harry didn't know how to make her feel better. He wanted to, so much, but since he had had the same situation with Sirius, he knew that there was no way to ease her pain. "You know, when my godfather died, I felt like I was hopeless. He was the closest thing I ever had to a parent and then one day, I was an idiot and he ended up dying because of that." Harry didn't know why he was telling her this, especially since she didn't even know the story or even who his godfather was, but he wanted her to know that he knew how she felt.

She turned her head once again to look him in the eye as she replied, "I'm sorry…how did you get over it?"

"I didn't, he died just before the summer started." Harry responded looking down. He didn't want her to ask him how Sirius died; he didn't want to know what a moron he was and how he had put all of his friends in danger. Luckily she didn't ask anything more as she continued to look at him.

Harry now again noticed how close her face was to his, and how his arms fit perfectly around her small figure. He gave a slight smile as he sighed and looked away from her. He couldn't look at her anymore, their faces were too close. Clara took her hand and turned Harry's face back towards her as she looked into his eyes.

Then, it was weird how it happened. Suddenly Clara had leaned in and Harry had been there to meet her halfway. First, their kiss was just soft and playful, just like Clara, then, it progressed into a deeper and more passionate kiss. Harry knew that this was why he had to look away in the first place, because he wanted to do this so bad. He loved to finally be able to freely run his hands through her gorgeous blonde hair; he enjoyed so much to be able to finally kiss the one girl that he wanted. It felt to Harry, like time stopped, in those long minutes that they sat there sharing a heartfelt kiss. That kiss, was so filled with emotion that it took Harry a minute to realize what he was doing.

He quickly pulled away and stammered, "No!"

Clara appeared slightly hurt as she looked into his eyes with her piercing stare. She still had her hand on Harry's cheek and he didn't know if he could say no if her touch was still upon him. So he quickly pushed her hand away from his face, afraid that he might kiss her again. "Harry, did I do something wrong?" Clara asked with an upset expression.

"No, its just—I can't…Ron, he, he likes you Clara—I just can't do that," Harry replied franticly while getting up. He had to get away from her, Harry couldn't stand having to hurt her, but Ron was his best friend. He had actually told Ron that "she was all his"! How could he betray his friend that was always there for him when he needed someone? No, he wasn't going to let this ruin his friendship, as much as he liked Clara, he couldn't lose Ron as a friend. Plus, maybe Ron's crush on her would go away and then Harry could be with Clara, but for right now Harry couldn't do that. He had to be a good friend to Ron, and to be a good friend, he just couldn't be making out on the couch with Clara!

As Harry started walking as fast as he could for the boys dormitories Clara shouted out, "Harry?" he kept on running up the stairs two at a time, "We have to talk about this!" when he was about to close the door he heard her say weakly, "Harry…." It pained him beyond words, but Harry shut the door, regardless of her pleas to stay.


	7. In Need of a Friend

Harry was still gazing blankly at the ceiling as the sun's rays entered the boys' dormitories. He hadn't slept a wink since what happened with Clara and as he noticed the sun starting to shine, he discovered that he wasn't going to get any slumber. Harry sighed and continued to stare at the ceiling, trying to sort out his thoughts. He wasn't exactly sure what had happened last night, all he knew was that Clara and him ended up kissing. The kiss was fantastic, Harry had to admit that, but he just couldn't let anything like that happen again. He wouldn't allow this to cause a fight between him and Ron; he didn't want to hurt his best friend.

Then again, he probably made Clara even more upset than she already was by walking out on her. She needed a friend last night and all Harry did was make it worse. He kissed Clara, and then ran away from her, and this was right after she discovered her mother died. He managed to make her mother's death an even more difficult experience then it already was. Harry hated this feeling in his stomach; he hated himself at that moment actually. He felt like he was the world's most horrible person at that instant.

Harry's thoughts were disrupted, to his dismay, when the other boys in the room started to awake. He didn't want to have to face Clara or Ron any time in the future, especially now. Harry wanted to just stare at the ceiling and hate himself forever, but he couldn't. He had to talk to Clara and let her know why he reacted the way he did. Harry didn't want her to beat herself up due to his own senseless behavior.

After a long sigh, Harry found the energy to stumble out of bed and get dressed. He wanted to talk to Clara before Ron awoke. He quickly pulled on some clothes and got ready for the day, before he ventured downstairs.

As Harry tried to stroll down the stairs casually, Ginny spotted him and called him over, "Harry!"

When he reached the bottom of the stairs he reluctantly headed towards Ginny and replied unenthusiastically, "Hi"

Ginny didn't seem fazed, even in the slightest, by Harry's lack of excitement; actually, it seemed as if she didn't even notice. She looked like she had something important to say, but she wasn't talking. Harry couldn't help but feeling curious as he questioned, "Something on your mind Ginny?"

"Did you know that Clara's mother died?" she answered with a tone of concern in her voice.

Before he could think, Harry responded, "Yeah, she told me…" As soon as he did though, he regretted it. Harry didn't want anyone to know that he was downstairs with Clara most of the night. His guilt was enough; he didn't need other people suspecting what happened.

"How did you know? She just found out in the middle of the night," Ginny asked suspiciously.

Harry didn't know what to say, except the truth, "I couldn't sleep so I went downstairs and saw her crying. Clara told me what happened and I tried to comfort her, but she said she needed to be alone." That was mostly the truth, just with a couple of things left out.

Ginny seemed satisfied with this answer as she nodded and said compassionately, "I wonder how she is doing."

"Do you know where she is?" Harry questioned hopefully, but as Ginny shook her head, he made some excuse about having to go to the library to get away. Now he had no idea where to find Clara. If she wasn't in the common room, she might be in the Great Hall, but if your mom just died would you be eager to scarf down some breakfast? Harry decided that it couldn't hurt to look anyway, as he headed down to the Great Hall. While he was walking, he tried to think of what he would say when he found her. First of all, he would definitely apologize for his foolish behavior. Then… he didn't even know where to start. Harry couldn't possibly let Clara know that he wanted to kiss her more than anything, every day of his life. He didn't want her to know how much he really liked her; Harry just wanted her to know that he genuinely cared about her. He also wanted Clara to realize that he couldn't betray Ron, who really liked Clara, and that is why he pulled away.

Harry shook his head as these thoughts were running threw his mind; he was going to do something stupid again and he knew it. Harry knew that he wasn't a "smooth" operator, when it comes to these kinds of things. He was afraid of screwing things up again and making Clara feel horrible. Harry hated being the cause ofher pain, but she had to understand.

As Harry entered the giant Great Hall, there was no sign of Clara anywhere. He even looked around for a few minutes and yet, he saw no sign of her presence. As Harry strode towards the Gryffindor table in defeat, he noticed that Hermoine was already there. She was already eating and looked like she was busy doing something as Harry walked up to where she was sitting.

"Er…Hello Hermoine," Harry said uncomfortably. Ever since Harry and Ron had made friends with Clara, Hermoine had become irritable towards all of them. She always snapped at him and he really wasn't in the mood for her anger. He just wanted to sit with his friend, Hermoine, who used to be someone he could talk to.

"Oh, Hello Harry," she replied, not even looking up. Harry sighed as he obviously realized that he would not be able to talk to her. He wanted so bad to ask Hermoine what to do about this situation, but he knew that she would just yell at him for it. Harry didn't know what her problem was lately; he just knew that it felt like he had lost her as a friend.

As Harry was lost in his train of thought, Hermoine finally looked up at him. He had the saddest expression on his face at that moment. Harry had so much to be sad about in his life, though. Sirius was dead, he betrayed Ron, he was falling for Clara, but could never have her, and he was losing Hermoine as a friend. It seemed to Harry, that things couldn't get any worse. As this thought buzzed in his mind he tried to ignore the fact that he knew it could get worse, much worse. Harry didn't want to think about this as he carelessly plopped down next to Hermoine on the bench and proceeded to stare at the designs on his plate.

"Are you okay Harry?" Hermoine asked gently

"That depends, are you going to snap at me and run off?" Harry inquired. He was hoping that she would have some explanation for her being such a lousy friend over these past weeks. He didn't want to believe that she didn't care enough to be there for him. Harry wanted her as a friend again and he was wishing that she was wanting the same thing.

"Harry, what is that supposed to mean?" Hermoine inquired defensively.

Harry sighed as he discovered that she didn't even realize how much she was hurting him. Hermoine didn't know what Harry was going threw and, until she was going to start being a friend, he didn't want to tell her. "Nevermind" Harry replied while he started to rise from the table. When he was about to start walking away, Hermoine quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"What is going on, Harry?" she said inquisitively. It was a wonder to Harry how she could be his friend for so long and yet not realizeexactly whathad been bothering him.

"You would know if you weren't always runningaway and ignoring me," Harry answered honestly. He knew he wasn't being very nice, but he didn't feel like being a kind person right then.

"I told you that it was because of Clara. She can't be trusted. She is—" Hermoine tried to explain, but before she could,Harry sharply cut her off.

"No, Hermoine, you don't get it. I don't care if I am hanging out with Voldemort himself, you should be a friend to me no matter what. You can't just ditch me if I am friends with someone that you don't like because it is not always about what you want." Harry didn't know what was the matter with him lately. First, he was screaming at his Uncle and now Hermoine. Who was next?

"Harry, I…" Hermoine began before he had to cut in again.

"Hermoine, I am sorry. I've just missed the way we used to be friends; I really need someone to talk to, but I now know that you can't be that 'someone' anymore," It was odd, how at this moment, Harry became completely honest with Hermoine. His entire life, he spent it trying to please other people, but now, he when he needed someone, the only friend he could turn to for help, was too busy with something else. Harry needed to be honest, and then maybe Hermoine would understand how much he needed her to be there for him.

"I can be that person, Harry. I am so sorry; I didn't know that you were having a hard time. Please, you can talk to me." Hermoine said desperately, now discovering that she needed to be a friend.

Harry didn't say anything and continued looking down. He knew that she wanted to be his friend, but how did he know if she was really going to stick with him when Clara was around? He didn't know if she was going to start making excuses to get away from Clara again. If Hermoine did begin to do that once more, it would be like she never really wanted to stay Harry's friend in the first place.

"Harry, I am begging you. Please tell me what is going on. I do want to be your friend." Hermoine pleaded with tears starting to well up in her eyes.

Harry was done being angry at Hermoine, he couldn't help it; he had to tell her everything…


	8. I Dare You

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and all that jazz...**

**And I know that I use some pretty interesting phrases in this chapter, but that's bcuz I was in such a crazy mood today! lol Ihope you like it. R & R!!!**

After Harry had told Hermoine everything, including what happened with Clara, he felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. At first, when he was telling her about the kiss, she started pursing her lips like she was trying with all her energy, to not say anything that might make Harry angry. Afterwards though, she gave him all the support and advice that he could ask for.

She told Harry that he shouldn't let Ron know what happened with Clara. This surprised him; he always thought that Hermoine would make him admit to Ron that he had kissed Clara, but if she insisted that he shouldn't, who was he to disagree? She also told Harry that as long as he made sure it didn't happen again, he hadn't done anything wrong. He didn't know why, but having Hermoine tell him that he wasn't such a bad person, made him feels so much better.

"Have you talked to her since?" asked Hermoine curiously. Harry shook his head in response, just as Ron strolled up behind them.

"Who are you talking about?" Ron asked suddenly, making Harry and Hermoine both jump at the sight of him.

Harry then tried to 'play it cool' and answered honestly, "Clara, her mother just died." It was weird how nervous he was getting while around his best friend, now that he felt so incredible guilty.

"Yeah I heard about that in the common room." Ron said nodding, before trying to casually add, "Do you suppose she needs someone to talk to?"

Harry gulped; he didn't know what Ron was getting at. It was sounding like he knew, Harry didn't know how Ron would know, but he had a sickening feeling that Ron somehow knew.

Harry was praying in his mind that he was wrong as Hermoine prodded, "What do you mean?" She looked a tad worried too about whether or not Ron knew what had happened.

"Well, maybe I could talk to her…and maybe let her know that I, you know." Ron finished looking a tad embarrassed. Harry felt even more guilt find its way in the pit of his stomach. He knew that if he started feeling any guiltier, he wouldn't be able to go another second without puking.

Harry didn't throw up, however, and so instead, he asked that question that had been burning in his mind since Clara's lips left his. "You still like her a lot, huh?"

Ron didn't just flush this time, he became full on, beat red as he slowly nodded his head. Harry's hopes were shattered as Ron admitted to still liking Clara. He had hoped that Ron would move onto someone else, or forget about her, but unfortunately, it seemed as if Ron liked Clara more then ever.

"Does Weasley actually think he has a chance with any girl in this school?" added a scoffing voice from behind them. Of course, it was Draco Malfoy, accompanied by Crab and Goyle, who interrupted their conversation. He looked very smug with himself as he scorned at them all.

"And you, of all people, would?" sneered Hermoine, with disgust. Harry smiled at her comment; he noticed that she was becoming increasingly good at insulting Draco Malfoy. Not that it was hard, he reminded himself.

"Stay out of this mudblood!" Draco said while glaring at her with pure loathing.

Now it was Harry's turn to take a crack at insulting Malfoy. As he stood up, he demanded, "Mudblood is she? Well, what makes you so much better? Because I can tell you right now, if you were half as talented as her at magic, you wouldn't have to have dear old daddy help you out." Harry noticed as he was talking, Draco clenched his jaw and his two cronies, Crab and Goyle, were cracking their knuckles to try and intimidate him. Too bad it didn't; not one bit.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand, Potter. You aren't exactly the brightest crayon in the box. All you can do is show off that hideous scar," as Malfoy hissed this with such satisfaction, Harry would have liked nothing better than to sock him in the face. If Draco really thought, for one minute, that Harry enjoyed the fact that his parents were murdered, that he took pleasure in constantly being stared at, or that Harry liked to always be in danger of Lord Voldemorts' murderous plots, then Draco was sadly mistaken. If it were up to Harry, his parents would still be alive.

"Show off? You think that I would want people to constantly look at me, that I want them to always remind me of what happened? Believe it or not, Draco, I would enjoy nothing less, then for someone else to have to deal with all the crap I've had to." Harry was now right in front of Malfoy and he was patiently waiting for him to throw just one punch, daring him, to just conjure one spell, and then Harry would be sure to make Draco regret it.

Harry noticed how Malfoy's eye had started to twitch, and he knew that Malfoy wanted to fight just as much as he did. As Crab and Goyle started to close in around Harry, Ron stood up by his side. Harry looked boldly at all three of them. He couldn't help but smile at himself as he thought of how stupid he was becoming. So far, within the month, he had screamed at his uncle, betrayed Ron, almost lost Hermoine as a friend, and he was about to fight with Malfoy. Harry shook his head as he thought to himself, _It's been a busy month…_

After what seemed like forever, Crab became impatient and swung his big, beefy arm at Harry. Crab's fist landed right across Harry's cheek, but for whatever reason, Harry barely even noticed. Within seconds, Harry pummeled Crab to the ground and was punching him in the face with so much pent up fury, that he was actually winning the fight. Harry didn't even detect the fact that Ron had joined in the brawl as well, until he saw Ron being knocked over by Goyle, and landing right in front of him. Harry took this chance to tackle Malfoy on the ground and get as many punches in as possible. He wanted revenge for everything Draco had done to him; he wanted Malfoy to know that Harry wasn't going to let him get away with those horrible things anymore.

"BOYS! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" shouted a professor, who oddly seemed far off.

Harry decided to stop punching the daylights out of Malfoy and to get up, but as soon as he did, Malfoy hit him with a cheap shot, right in the eye. That was it; Harry went right back to punching Malfoy anywhere he could.

"HARRY, GET OFF OF MALFOY! ….NOW BOYS!" screamed the professor again, who Harry now realized, was professor McGonagall. Although Harry didn't want to stop, he did. Slowly he lowered his arms and stood up, while still looking down. Harry didn't want to see everyone's eyes on him because he that they all were looking at him. Harry Potter, the psycho boy who lived, was what they were going to be whispering as he passed by.

"All of you, come with me!" ordered Professor McGonagall as she started walking them all out of the Great Hall. Harry continued looking at his feet as he followed everyone out, towards McGonagall's office. As Malfoy, Ron, Crab, Goyle, and Harry entered her crowded office, she closed the door.

Harry finally raised his gaze and looked at McGonagall. He had never seen her lips pursed so tightly before, and he hadn't even noticed since he had returned, how much older she looked. She didn't say anything to them for such a long time that Harry started to get rather nervous.

Harry was curious at how all the others looked after their scrap, and when he scanned the room, Harry was simply shocked at the condition everyone was in. Goyle was bleeding from above his eyebrow and his shoulder was already turning the darkest color of purple imaginable. Then, he turned his sights on Crab, who was bleeding from his lip and had a black eye, which Harry had so generously given him. As Harry then saw Ron, he couldn't help but cringe, for getting him into this. Ron had a deep gash on his cheek, probably because Goyle had a number of rings on his fat fingers, and his face seemed to be dripping with blood. Malfoy, however, was in the worst condition of them all. He had two black eyes, a bloody lip and Harry thought his nose was probably broken because it was at the ugliest angle conceivable. Harry was stunned at what he did to Malfoy, during their fight.

Finally though, professor McGonagall broke the deafening silence in the room, "What came over you boys? Did you even think that you could get expelled for causing a fight?" This was definitely not the first time Harry had to worry about being expelled and this time was no different. He hoped that it would turn out just like every other occurrence, and that was with just a warning. He could not go back to living on Privet Drive, especially after what happened. Harry sighed as he thought to himself how pathetic it would be to get expelled within the first few weeks of arriving.

"Malfoy, Crab, and Goyle…I have contacted Professor Snape, since I am not the one who has authority over you. He is on his way to my office and will punish all of you severely." McGonagall was looking around the room at their faces, but no one was making any eye contact. She then slowly added, "I know you all do not like each other, but I could never imagine that any of you would do such a thing" She was looking sternly around the room trying to instill guilt in them all. Harry didn't know about the rest of them, but he knew that he was feeling as guilty as possible.

"Minerva" said a sniveling voice from the doorway. The voice was Snape's, who was sneering from the doorway at Harry and Ron.

"I trust that you know the situation, and that these boys need to be punished?" answered Professor McGonagall stiffly.

"Yes, of course," He answered in an edgy tone before he added, "Dumbledor told me to send Harry to his office before you discipline them." Harry could tell that Professor Snape wasn't happy to hear that he was going to see Dumbledor. Snape probably thought that Harry was going to get out of a punishment, which was exactly what Harry was hoping as well. Usually when he saw Dumbldor, he got out of a punishment, which made Snape red with fury.

McGonagall got even more tight-lipped, if that was possible, and replied absently, "Very well." She nodded towards Harry motioning for him to follow Snape towards Dumbledore's office. Before leaving, Harry took one last glance towards Ron as he exited McGonagall's office.

As soon as they were out of earshot Snape said to Harry coldly, "I'd like to see you get out of this one, Potter." Snape was smiling smugly at him and Harry found it deeply annoying.

"Nice to see you too, Professor…" Harry mumbled back sarcastically. While he was already in trouble, Harry figured he mine as well talk back to Snape.

"Shut up, Potter." Snape said quickly before saying clearly, "Windex". Suddenly the wall before them opened up, to what Harry very well knew was Dumbldor's office. He strode inside and watched as Snape turned on his heel and walked away as the wall closed behind him.

As Harry looked at the familiar staircase leading up to Dumbledor, he gulped. He wondered if he really was going home tonight.


	9. Time to Change

**Read and Review please! **

**Disclaimer: I, of course, don't own Harry Potter or any other of these characters.... **

"Come in, Harry" said Dumbledore softly as Harry was nervously standing outside of his office. Slowly, Harry pushed open the door to reveal Dumbledore's completely changed office. Contrary to his old office, Dumbledore had papers scattered across his desk and things seemed more out of place then last time Harry was present. There were even more odd contraptions here than during the last occasion that were strewed around the room and Harry couldn't help but feel curious.

Harry quickly turned his attentions away from Dumbledore's room and sat down in the chair in front of the desk. He didn't know what was going to happen or why Dumbledore didn't seem angrier, but then again, Harry had only seen him angry around Voldemort.

"How are you, Harry?" Dumbledore questioned gently, which surprised Harry a little bit. He didn't quite know how to answer that inquiry. He knew that he wasn't "fine", but for some reason, he didn't want to tell Dumbledore what was wrong with him. Maybe it was because Harry was ashamed.

"I'm...fine" Harry lied while still examining Dumbledore's office. The silence in the room though, made Harry change his attentions back over to Dumbledore. He was looking at Harry over his half-moon spectacles and seemed as if he was deep in thought. The penetrating stare that Dumbledore was giving him, made Harry feel a little uncomfortable.

Harry was uneasily fidgeting in his seat when Dumbledore sighed, "Then how was your summer?". Harry knew Dumbledore was searching for an answer besides "good" and "fine", Dumbledore wanted him to tell everything and that is exactly what Harry had to tell him. After all, it was not like Dumbledore didn't know about Sirius's death, and he had known that Harry losing his godfather was going to be one of the most trying times in his life.

After a moment to think, Harry responded plainly, "Not my best summer. I spent most of it locked up in my room and when I finally did go downstairs, I practically blew up my Uncle." He tried to show a fake smile to show that he was over it, but his efforts were wasted. Dumbledore could see right through what Harry was doing.

"You can't keep blaming yourself, Harry." Harry quickly looked up as Dumbledore's words were spoken and even though he knew they were true, he couldn't just _stop _blaming himself. He didn't know what to say so Harry just kept looking down as Dumbledore slowly stood up and went to the window. As Dumbledore was gazing out into the world around them Harry was back to thinking about how stupid he was. Harry had told himself time and again that if he had more since then a broomstick, he would have known how to save Sirius. He was telling himself these things yet again, in spite of everyone's efforts to assure him that it wasn't his fault. While Harry's mind was roaming and deep in thought about these things, Dumbledore spoke, "How did it start?"

"What?"

"The fight...how did it start?" Dumbledore said while returning to his seat behind the desk. He was watching Harry intently, and the twinkle in his eyes were blazing more then ever.

"Err, well...Malfoy had said some things about Ron and Hermoine so I kind of stood up to tell him to back off, but then Crab punched me. I didn't know what came over me; I just kind of reacted the only way I knew how. To fight back." Harry stared at Dumbledore sheepishly and looked down, still ashamed of how he had acted.

"Was the fight really about what Malfoy said?" Dumbledore asked matter-of-factly.

The truth to that was, Harry had no idea. He had been thinking about that and he didn't know if the fight was all really about defending his friends or if it was just a way to let out his anger. Harry didn't have a clue as to what his motives for fighting were; he just knew that he needed to find a better way to deal with things. "I don't know, Sir. All I know is that I was already mad at myself before Malfoy came along. Then he just made me angry at him instead."

Dumbledore nodded like he understood, and was rubbing his bright white beard before he replied wisely, "I have noticed a change in you, Harry. You aren't happy anymore. I know that it is hard, but what if you had died instead of Sirius? Would you want Sirius to be doing this to himself? What you are doing isn't helping him. Think about what Sirius would want in your life. Living a life that Sirius would have wanted you to have, would respect his memory more."

Harry didn't want to admit that Dumbledore was right, but he was. If Sirius was alive right now, and saw Harry, he would be so devastated. Harry had never thought to think of it in this light, he had only thought about the past. Now though, it made since to respect Sirius's memory and to live his life in honor of his beloved godfather. It was no use for Harry to wallow in his sorrow over losing Sirius; he had to brave. As Harry looked up at Dumbledore, there was no need for words; they both knew what Harry had to do. He had to change.

* * *

The punishment that Harry, Ron, Malfoy, Crab and Goyle received was extremely severe. They were not expelled though, as many of the teachers had threatened. They were all forced to serve five detentions together. The first night of detentions, they had to clean the trophy room and Malfoy of course had to make a comment on how he remembered when he challenged them to a duel and they had actually believed him. While Malfoy was having a good laugh at the memory, Harry had to hold Ron back. The punishment could have been much worse though, and Harry was thankful that it wasn't.

While the actual punishment for their fight was not that bad, the other students in the school were a punishment all in their own. They had been spreading insane rumors like wildfire ever since they saw the brawl. In Hogwarts, fights were a rarity, and so when they happened, it was a huge deal. Everyone kept on asking ridiculous questions as they walked down the hall like when one girl questioned if Harry had really blown off Malfoy's arm. Then, one day when Harry and Ron were all in Potions class, someone from the Slytherine house asked Snape what was the punishment for getting into a fight and Snape had responded by sneering, "Most of the time, you are expelled, but some students seem to think they rule the school and get out of their punishments easily." It wasn't all bad though, some people like Dean and Seams were actually congratulating Harry and Ron for finally giving Malfoy what was coming to him.

The whole school gossiping about the fight didn't really bother Harry as much as it aggravated Ron. Harry was used to the constant whispers as he passed, but Ron had never known that before. One day when they had been walking to their Charms class and some girl was pointing at them and telling her friend something, Ron just snapped. He turned around and told the girl to get her own life to talk about. What was funny though, was that as the girl was walking away she said, "No wonder the boy practically beat that Slytherine to a pulp, he is the angriest little red head I've ever seen!" Ron was in an irritable mood all day over that.

Once the talk started to wear down, Harry, Hermoine, and Ron were all starting to get concerned as to where Clara was. Ever since Harry had kissed her in the common room, no body had seen her. It had been two whole weeks since she had left and it was starting to make Harry feel a tad bit uneasy. He wanted to know if Clara was okay about her mother's death, because he knew better than anyone else how broken up she was over it. Ron was especially concerned over Clara's mysterious disappearance and every time he asked about her, Harry got that horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. Every time Harry started have this feeling in his stomach, or if he started to blame himself for things again, Harry reminded himself of what Dumbledore had said.

Since his talk with Dumbledore, Harry had made a great effort to be happier. He wanted to change, in order to live how Sirius would want him to. Finally, Harry was starting to be at peace with everything in his life and it was like a huge burden being lifted off his shoulders. He felt free now, and it was much easier to get threw his days. On one Friday evening though, his days were looking like they were going to get even easier.

"Guess what is starting up soon, Harry?" Ron asked in an excited tone. Harry smiled as he shrugged and started piling food into his mouth, waiting for Ron to just tell him instead of making him guess. After barely a ten second pause, Ron answered himself back, "Quidditch! And since Wood is gone, they need a new team captain!"

This got Harry ecstatic. Ever since he came back to Hogwarts, he just couldn't wait for Quidditch to start back up again. It was like the only thing that he felt he was decent at. Harry was a little uneasy though about Oliver Wood, their old team captain, being gone. He wondered who could fill Wood's shoes because Harry doubted that anyone could be as dedicated as Wood had been to the team. Whoever it was though, they would have a hell of a job to do. Harry shook his headof these thoughts as hegrinned widely at Ronandquestioned, "When is the first practice?"

Yes, things seemed to be looking up for Harry, but there was always that voicein the back of his head that wondered where she was. That voice also wondered,what would happen whenshe returned.


	10. Lost in the Memories

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters and blah blah blah lol**

Now that Quidditch had started, Harry and Ron's weeks flew by faster than anyone could imagine. Each and every day, they practiced on their broomsticks every spare moment they had. It was exhilarating to be back on the field for Harry and he enjoyed being able to play with his best friend Ron.

The only problem in Harry's life was that the Gryffindor quidditch team had no captain because Oliver Wood had graduated. For the first week they had tried to battle it out with each other for the spot of the team Captain, but they soon discovered that it was causing more problems then resolving the one they had. After a couple weeks of bickering and competing for the spot, everyone on the team decided to have a vote. The only rules were that you couldn't vote for yourself, and you couldn't tell any body else whom you were voting for.

Harry thought that this was fair enough, he didn't really mind if he was the captain or not. He just wanted to play, and if he could be playing Quidditch as captain, that would be fantastic, but if not, Harry was perfectly fine with just playing Quidditch. Other team mates, though were desperate to be captain.

One day when practice was finished early (which never happens) some people stayed behind to talk with the other members of the team. Harry wanted to get back to the common room so that he could actually get his homework done before midnight for once. So Harry said his goodbyes, but Ron stayed back and was getting into a deep conversation with a new player on the team named Declan Limerick, when they started to talk about team captains.

"Er… and _you _think that there's an actual chance that you will be team captain?" scoffed the oversized second year. This left Ron furious. The nerve of that pitiful second year, who hadn't even been playing quidditch for Gryffindor for more then a couple weeks! Declan remained smiling smugly at Ron, until Ron struck back with his own sharp tongue.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Ron cried sarcastically, while getting redder by the second with anger, "I should have known that a second year, with absolutely _no talent_ would have a better chance than me at being team captain." Declan's jaw clenched as Ron spat the mocking words back at him. The team members that were still remaining on the field, were all looking at the scene that was unwinding before them.

"Of course I stand a better chance then you at making it! You are as dumb as a rock," while Declan seethed these words maliciously, Ron could have ripped that kid apart. It was one thing to call him poor, or poke fun at his family, because Ron knew that half the things they said were true, but to call him dumb, hell, his brains were all he had. Ron wasn't going to let some little boy insult him and get away with it. As Ron lunged for Declan, it took everyone that was there, to hold him back. And even that was difficult for them. When Ron was angry, his Irish temper made it almost impossible for anyone to stop him, but somehow they managed.

When everyone was calming Ron down, they didn't notice how scared Declan was as he scurried away from the horrendous scene. As the boy was sprinting across the long path to the Hogwarts castle, Harry and a few others were still on their way back from the field. They all saw Declan running towards the castle with a terrified look on his face, like he had just witnessed the most traumatic event of his life. Everyone sort of just stopped as Declan passed them and when he finally dashed his way into the castle, everyone raised their eyebrows at each other.

They all started shaking their heads at each other while they turned around to go see what was going on. They couldn't just go into the castle now; they had to know what made Declan run away with fright. When they finally reached the field and heard the story, Harry couldn't help but laugh at Ron's easy anger at the cocky little second year. After their laughs about the argument had ceased, the entire team (besides Declan since he wasn't there) thought it would be best if talks about team captains be postponed until everyone could handle it maturely. Everyone also promised not to say anything about Ron trying to rip Declan's head off because Ron had already gotten into a fight this year, just a couple weeks ago.

Harry was glad that they made this pact to not talk about team captains because he didn't want to get either Ron or him in any more trouble than they already were. Their troubles, as they had thought, were definitely not over. The five detentions that they had served along with Draco, Goyle and Crab, hadn't been pleasant at all, but they could definitely been worse. Harry was grateful that the detentions were over with, but he was starting to feel the teachers' wrath on him. In McGonagall's class, Ron and him were both required to do multiple extra assignments, mostly extremely long essays though. In Snape's class, he enjoyed mocking Harry continuously and making Harry's short time inside the dungeon with him, his most dreaded part of the week. Luckily, Harry's Charms teacher, didn't really punish him much and even whispered to Harry and Ron, "If I wasn't a teacher, I would be tempted to do the same thing!" It was nice that one teacher ignored Dumbledore's permission to extend a small punishment of their own for Harry, Ron, Draco, Goyle, and Crab's disturbance.

Even though Harry's fight with Malfoy made his school life infinitely more difficult, Harry didn't regret it one bit. It was what he needed to feel like him and Draco were even; to feel like he finally showed Malfoy that he wouldn't stand for his shit anymore. Now Harry didn't feel so bottled up, like he did before; he felt like he let out what he needed to and now he was ready to focus on what needed to be done.

This feeling lasted for Harry, about five weeks. It was short lived, but after five weeks of not feeling guilty or constantly having to hold everything inside, it all came to an end.

Because Clara was back….

* * *

The sun was lighting up the boys' dormitory with exubrance as Harry watched the sun rise. He had had another nightmare about Voldemort, Sirius and the green flashing light. Harry hated having these dreams because he knew that he couldn't believe them, but he also could never forget them. They always felt so real that he didn't know that he was dreaming until he found himself sitting up in a cold sweat. When these times came, Harry had to repeatedly tell himself that it wasn't true, even though in the back of his mind he dreaded that they were. A year ago, Harry would have definitely told Ron, Hermoine, and Dumbledore about these vivid dreams, but that was exactly the problem. Last year, that was what caused Sirius' death and he wasn't going to do something stupid like that again. 

Every time Harry had his regularly reoccurring nightmare, he simply just laid in his bed peacefully, thinking about all the things in his life. Usually when the first ray of light peaked through the broad window in the dormitory, Harry would spring up from bed and get ready early. Today however, he was content with just lying in bed and pondering his life quietly. Maybe today was different because Sirius and Voldemort weren't the only people that Harry was thinking about.

"Harry?" Harry was quickly snapped out of his deep thoughts as Ron whispered for his attention.

"Hmm?" Harry answered lazily, still trying to remember what he was last thinking about. Ron had never really woken up and interrupted Harry's "thinking" time, but Harry wasn't annoyed. He knew that the more he thought of the past, the harder it was for him.

"Why do you do that?" Ron asked seriously.

"Er…do what?" Harry replied, now turning to face Ron. As Harry had guessed, Ron's hair was a mess, just like every other morning. What surprised Harry was how concerned Ron's face was while he gave Harry a searching gaze.

"Almost every morning, I wake up to see you staring at the ceiling. You just stare blankly, with no emotion on your face except..." Ron paused, while avoiding Harry's eyes a little before his finished, "remorse." Ron looked up as if expecting to see the answer written across Harry's face, but it wasn't. To be honest, Harry didn't know why he spent hours lost in thought; it was just something he ended up doing without any intention to. Harry didn't know why he could so easily find himself absorbed within his mind, but he did and there was no explanation as for why.

Harry tried to answer Ron's question in a way where Ron would understand. "You remember how I would have those nightmares, reliving my parents' death?" Harry questioned while looking Ron in the eyes as he uncomfortably nodded. Harry continued, "When I have dreams like that, I can't go back to sleep, but I try to anyways. I will just stare at the ceiling and remember how things used to be or wish that things were different. I don't really decide to start thinking about that stuff, it just happens while I am lying there. I guess I have a lot to think about though…" Harry remained keeping eye contact with Ron for a few more moments, but soon turned his head back at the ceiling.

After a long moment of silence, Ron replied, "Yeah, it's easy to get lost in memories." At this moment, Harry discovered that he was not the only one wishing that things were simpler.

**Dont worry! Clara will definitely be in the next chapter ;-)**

**R R**


	11. I Missed You

**Please read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters (besides Clara)**

Later that same day, Harry, Ron and Hermoine all headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. There was a quietness between the three of them after the talk Harry and Ron had while they proceeded down the staircase.

"Is there something the matter with you two?" Hermoine blurted as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Harry wasn't sure if she had noticed the silence between them, but sure enough, she noticed.

"No, were just er…tired," Harry replied, halfway in a daze. He wasn't prepared to have a better excuse then that for why they were quiet. Hermoine's eyebrows shot up as she looked between Ron and Harry, expecting them to elaborate.

They did not, however; so she just sighed and kept walking as she said, "Don't tell me you both are still moping over Clara being gone?"

Harry stared at her with disbelief; how she could think they were _still _moping over Clara when they were never moping in the first place? Sure, they were sad that she was gone, but they didn't _mope_ about it! As Harry was just simply staring, Ron managed to sputter, "D—but, we…we never were moping!"

Hermoine let out a laugh at this comment. Ron was gawking at her with an irritated expression when he realized, she actually thought that he was joking. When Hermoine just kept on laughing, it was too much for Ron. "There was nothing funny about that!"

Hermoine managed to collect herself as she said lightly, "You don't have to deny it, both of you have been pining about her since she left." As she looked between the two of them, she was still smiling at what Ron had said. Hermoine found it preposterous that Ron tried to say he _didn't_ think about Clara every waking second.

"I have NOT been pining," Ron tried to say defensively. He hated to admit how much he really did like Clara.

"Oh, _really_? Well, then why is it that every time you hear her name, you drop everything you are doing and listen?"Hermoine wasn't smiling any longer; she was just staring at Ron, awaiting an answer. She had never liked Clara one bit, and the fact that her two best friends would totally ignore her opinion was hurtful.

"Okay, fine. So I miss her, big deal," Ron replied, trying to pass it off like it actually was no big deal. Hermoine didn't see it that way though; she thought it was a huge deal.

Harry was remaining silent during this heated debate because he saw no reason to get himself caught up in the middle of it. The last thing he wanted was to talk about Clara with Ron. Harry found it difficult to speak to Ron about Clara, which was understandable, given the unfortunate circumstances. He hated keeping a secret from Ron, but he had done it before, and he could manage to do so now. It was all he could do.

"Ron, why do insist on being embarrassed about liking someone? You should have done something about it!" Hermoine urged, as they entered the Great Hall. Harry was wondering why Hermoine would say this, when she knew that he had kissed Clara. He thought that she understood that he had feelings for Clara too, but he could never do that to Ron. Maybe she didn't know, Harry supposed, maybe must have thought that he kissed Clara, but felt nothing towards her. Which Harry was sorry to say, was a lie.

"Enough you guys. Let's talk about something else," Harry asked quietly while sitting down at the table. Ron just shrugged and let the subject drop, but Hermoine stared at Harry for what seemed like hours, until she finally sat down next to him.

The rest of breakfast went by fast as they talked about everything besides Clara. Harry was glad that Hermoine didn't push the subject, but was wondering what was on her mind when she was looking at him. He pushed this thought to the back of his mind however, as he prepared to go to class.

The bell rang, and the three of them all got up to get ready to go to Transfiguration. As they walked out of the Great Hall, Harry spotted Hagrid looking distressed while talking to Dumbledore. A second later, Ron noticed Hagrid's distress as well and called out to him, "Hagrid!"

Hagrid stopped talking to Dumbledore, and turned to look at them. He looked guilty somehow, like a child who had stolen an extra cookie or something. He was hiding something. "Yer shud get ter class now" Hagrid mumbled as he quickly walked in the opposite direction of them.

Harry was a little stunned at Hagrid's behavior, but he made a mental note to visit him as soon as possible to see what was wrong. He knew that something had to be wrong for Hagrid to act this way.

"What was wrong with him?" questioned Hermoine as they kept walking to class. Both Harry and Ron just shook there heads in wonderment because neither of them had a clue. It was odd conduct, no question about it, but Harry knew they could get it out of Hagrid what was wrong when they went to visit him.

Finally, Ron, Harry, and Hermoine arrived at Transfiguration class and plopped down in their usual seats. They turned towards each other and Ron spoke exactly what was one Harry's mind, "Were visiting him as soon as school is out."

They all nodded in agreement as Professor McGonagall entered the classroom and called the class to order. She explained to them that they would be learning how to transform their desks, into a dog. It was a difficult task that would require their full attention, but the whole class, all Harry thought about was knowing what Hagrid was up to.

"Harry, you are waving your wand wrong. It is not in a circle, but more of a zig-zag, see," Hermoine suggested at him when he yet again turned his desk into a headless dog. His focus was somewhere else though, and it was useless to even try. Ron wasn't having much luck either; his dogs always had an extra tail and no legs.

"Okay, I'll try," Harry responded, halfheartedly. Before he could though, there was a small knock on the door.

"Come in" said Professor McGonagall with a curious expression on her face.

The door opened to reveal the one person on Harry's mind for weeks on end, Clara. She was back, and Harry couldn't help but feel breathless, but able to finally breath at the same time. He dropped his wand as she meekly smiled at McGonagall. Clara just stood there and Harry didn't notice if anyone else had realized if she was there or not, but he sure did and he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Sorry to interrupt Professor, but I just got back," she said. Professor McGonagall nodded, as Clara seemed float towards Harry. He was so happy that she was back and he loved to have her near him. He smiled at her as she came near and it seemed to Harry as if no one else was there.

That was, until Hermoine gave him a violent nudge to shake him out of his dream. She glanced over at Ron, and Harry knew what she meant. He couldn't do this, not in front of Ron. So Harry simply had to watch as Ron got up to hug Clara and laugh with her for the rest of class.

The sadness that Harry felt because he couldn't show his true feelings to Ron, was nothing compared to the happiness he had that Clara was back. He was just happy to be able to see her again, even if he couldn't be with her in the way he wanted to be. Harry didn't know exactly when he realized that he liked Clara so much, but he did know that when he had kissed her, he felt something. It was just when she left, that he must have known that he loved her, in a way that he had never cared for someone before.

* * *

The day had been an excellent one for everybody, now that Clara was back in their lives. Ron was happier than Harry had ever seen him and Harry still just loved the fact that he was able to see Clara again. It was now late into the night and everyone was sitting by the fire. Hermoine, Ron, Harry and Clara's faces all glowed with the light the fire projected. Ron had been informing her about everything that had happened while she was gone, including their forever-famous fight in the Great Hall. 

While the stories were starting to diminish, Harry realized that Clara hadn't spoken much about what she had done since she left. He wanted to know, but was too polite to ask. Luckily, he didn't have to.

"So, did…er anything happen with you?" asked Ron cautiously, knowing that this might not be the best subject to bring up.

Clara shifted in her sear slightly before she replied, "Well, I had to go to my mothers funeral, which was…not what I expected." She paused while she looked around at all of their puzzled faces as if she was trying to decide whether or not to tell them something. She must have decided to tell them because she continued to say, "I have never told you this, but ever since I was little, I never knew my father. My mom said that he was a bad man and so she had to get away from him. She told me that he died shortly after she left him in London, but she lied to me. At the funeral, my Aunt Rosalind told me the truth."

Harry was taken aback by this new information. He had always wondered what had happened to Clara's father, but always knew that she would tell him when she was ready. Now she was finally telling him, and he wasn't sure if he really wanted to know. Clara didn't need to be reliving whatever happened to her in America, and Harry didn't want her to be uncomfortable while retelling the story. Harry kept his mouth shut though, while Hermoine inquired attentively, "What was the truth?"

Clara shook her head as she stared into the fire; just like she did the night Harry kissed her. She looked just as beautiful as she did that night too, only happier. Her hair was halfway pulled up and was waved perfectly, almost like it was still wet from the shower. She was still wearing what she wore during the day; her baby blue skirt, that seemed to be teasingly short and poofy, and her white off the shoulder top, that was fit her every curve. As Harry stared intently at Clara with penetrating eyes, he remembered Hermoine's question and waited for a response. It took a moment for Clara to decide what to say before she answered, "That my father is still alive, and that he never even knew my mother was pregnant with me. My mom ran away to the U.S. before she told him that she was with child. He never even knew that he was going to be a father."

The room seemed to be silent for a long moment, because no one knew quite what to say; there _was_ nothing anyone could say, either. Clara didn't notice the silence though. Amidst the quietness, Harry observed that she didn't seem to be sad or on the verge of tears, but she seemed to have anger. She was furious with her mother for lying, all those years. Clara must have felt cheated out of having a father, by her own mother, and Harry could relate to that feeling. He always had felt cheated out of having parents by Lord Voldemort.

Now Clara was without a mother, but at least she had the comfort that she had a father, out there somewhere. As this last thought crossed Harry's mind, a question arose as well. Harry felt that he had to ask, "Did your Aunt tell you who your father is? Where to find him?"

Clara shook her head as she replied, "My Aunt didn't even tell me his name; she only said that my father was not the bad man my mother told me he was." Clara swallowed hard as she finished her words and had a conflicted look in her eyes. Harry knew that it would be horrible, having your mother die only to have your Aunt tell you that she was a liar. At least though, she was finally able to know the truth and realize that she has a father out there somewhere. After a few minutes of complete silence from everybody, Clara whispered, "I am tired you guys, thanks for listening and everything, but I'm going up to bed." She smiled faintly before getting up and headed towards the stairs.

Everyone else seemed to be getting ready to go up to bed too, and Harry just had to tell Clara something before she went to sleep. "Clara!" Harry called as he walked over to her. When he was within a foot of her magnetic eyes, he gently whispered, "I missed you"

"I missed you too" as Clara breathlessly whispered these long-awaited words, Harry had a feeling that if Ron and Hermoine weren't in that same room, that Clara would have leaned in for another passionate kiss; and Harry knew, that he would have let her.


	12. Cruel Behavior

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters**

When Harry awoke the next day, he felt incredibly better. After finally speaking to Clara again, and knowing that she missed him too, it made Harry feel happy again. Since Harry was so happy, he didn't have to sit in bed for hours and just think about things, he simply just hopped out of bed and got dressed, just like he used to do.

Harry was the first boy awake, which was no surprise, so he got dressed as quickly and quietly as possible before creeping down to the common room. He was planning on having an early breakfast and then going to practice Quidditch before the big game that was in two weeks.

As he strolled down the stairs, he noticed that Hermoine was in a chair by the fireplace, looking somewhat depressed. She was looking down at her hands and her eyes looked glazed over, as if she was off in another world. Harry would be a horrible friend to ignore Hermoine's sadness, so instead of his early breakfast, Harry sat down next to her.

"Err…Hermoine?" asked Harry warily, after a few moments of silence between them. Harry wasn't even sure if Hermoine noticed that he was next to her.

"Clara's upstairs, Harry," Hermoine said out of the blue. She still had that glazed over look to her eyes and never lost eye contact with her hands. She looked more angry than sad now, but Harry was clueless as to what was bothering her.

"Well, that's good for Clara, Hermoine, but I am not asking about her…are you okay?" Harry was still just baffled at Hermoine's statement about Clara and failed to see any relevance with what he had said. That didn't matter now though, because at least Hermoine was talking, instead of silently staring.

Finally, Hermoine broke out of her daze and stopped brutally staring at her hands as she snapped, "Do you realize that when Clara came back, that we totally forgot to visit Hagrid?"

The problem was, Harry hadn't realized this; in fact, if Hermoine hadn't mentioned his careless forgetfulness, he would have never remembered. Harry was simply shocked at his own behavior and hated that Hermoine was right. He had totally forgotten about Hagrid because of Clara. Of course, Harry hadn't meant to forget, but nevertheless, he did. "Hermoine…none of us meant to. We'll just—we'll visit him today."

"Ron and you both drop everything for Clara, but then abandon your old friends when they need you. It isn't right, Harry, we've stood by you for so much longer than she has and yet you act like she is better," Hermoine's words cut like a knife into Harry's heart. He didn't want her to be right, but he knew that she was. Ever since Clara came along, Harry had been constantly thinking about her and wanting to be around her. He hadn't meant to neglect his old friends, but he knew that is what he was doing.

"Hermoine, I am sorry…I had no idea that I was doing that. I just—it's a stressful situation," Harry didn't know how else to tell her that he couldn't help but think about Clara day and night. He didn't know what else to say besides the fact that he wished he didn't love Clara so much. If Harry didn't care about Clara the way that he did, than there wouldn't be such a problem. The thing was though, that as much as Harry tried, he could not stop loving Clara.

"Yeah, it is only a stressful situation because you are making it that way…" Hermoine mumbled this under her breath, expecting Harry not to hear it. But Harry did hear her, and he was infuriated and hurt at the same time.

"What is THAT supposed to mean?" Harry inquired defensively.

"It means that if you hadn't of kissed Clara that you wouldn't be falling head over heels for her. If you hadn't of betrayed your friend Ron, you would be able to concentrate for one second on your friends that have been there for you since the beginning," It was right then that Harry realized something more was wrong with Hermoine. It wasn't just the fact that Clara got all the attention; it was something else.

Harry couldn't think about Hermoine's ulterior motive for attacking him though, he was too dam pissed off. "I didn't kiss her Hermoine, she kissed me. It is not my fault that Ron and I both like the same girl, but of course I blame myself for it anyway because of people like you saying that everything is my fault. I said I was sorry for being a lousy friend over the past months, but you insist on making this a big deal. WHAT THE HELL ELSE IS YOUR PROBLEM HERMOINE?"

Harry realized at that second, that he was yelling. He cursed to himself and hoped to god that nobody heard him, especially Ron. Luckily, no one did, it was still incredibly early and everyone was still sleeping heavily.

Hermoine wasn't looking at Harry; she was looking away, like she couldn't make eye contact. He didn't know what was wrong with her, but he knew it had to be pretty big if she was acting this way. Hermoine wouldn't normally be like this, she only started to act this way since Clara got here, there must be a bigger problem and Harry wanted to help her with it.

He saw that she looked like she might cry and Harry felt a pang of guilt for causing those tears, "Hermoine, I am sorry…I didn't mean it."

Hermoine shook her head for a moment before repling to Harry, "No, it's not your fault…" she paused as she wiped away a single tear, "You—You are right, I do have another problem."

Harry waited patiently for Hermoine to tell him what it was. He knew the problem must bedifficult and that he shouldn't rush her, since it evidently appeared as if it was a hardthing to tell him. She took only a couple minutes before she regained enough composure to say, "I think I'm in—"

At that moment Ron and Seamus came down the stairs leading from the boys' dormitories, laughing together. Hermoine couldn't tell him in anything while in front of other people, so she would just have to wait until she had another moment alone with Harry.

* * *

"Ugh, do we _really_ have to go to potions!" Clara whined, while heading down with Ron, Harry, and Hermoine to the dungeons. She had grown to hate that class just as much as Harry had. 

"Unfortunately, yes," sighed Harry while flashing her a small smile.

She wrinkled her nose cutely and replied, "Professor Snape always looks at me weird and he pauses every time he says my name." Clara gave a small laugh and then added, "He's not very nice either!" Ron shook his head stupidly at Clara while giving her the weirdest smile Harry had every seen; he had never witnessed Ron so smitten with someone.

"Not everyone is always looking at you…" Hermoine mumbled, not wanting anyone to hear. All of them did hear, however, and both Harry and Ron were appalled that she would say that to Clara's face. Ron just glared at Hermoine open-mouthed while Harry looked at Clara to see if she had heard. Claratried to act like she hadn't noticed the comment, but she did, and Harry knew it becauseshe was going slightly pink from embarrassment.

"Hermoine!" Ron shouted exasperatedly

Hermoine shifted her books uncomfortably and tried to act as if she hadn't said anything. No one was buying it, and she seemed to give up this act within a few minutes. She was about to say something before the door to the potions room came into sight and she sped forth quickly and yelled, "Oh, look, were here!" Hermoine scurried into the room guiltily as Harry, Ron, and Clara stared after her.

"Don't worry about her, she's just mentally ill," said Ron who seemed annoyed by Hermoine's rude and hurtful behavior.

Harry remembered the talk that he had had with Hermoine that morning and wondered what she would have told him if Ron and Seamus hadn't of interrupted their conversation. He had a feeling that Hermoine's little outburst had something to do with that talk, so he defended, "She is not mentally ill Ron…she's kinda mad at us.And Clara, don't worry about it; she just said that because she is angry at me and Ron"

"Mad? How could Hermoine be mad at us? We didn't do anything!" Ron questioned curiously. Harry didn't want to explain in front of Clara what Hermoine had said earlier that morning. It would hurt her feelings to know that Hermoine thought she wastrying to makeHarry and Ron forget about their old friends.

So Harry just said quietly, "Ron, the bell is going to ring soon. We'll talk about it later," He looked to see if Clara noticed his small signal to Ron, but she didn't act as if she knew.

Clara didn't say anything as she strolled into the cold dungeon room, but she didn't seem sad or angry. Harry took this as a good sign as Ron and him followed her in. From previous seating arrangements, Clara was assigned to sit next to Hermoine. Hermoine, however, had her arms crossed and wouldn't even look at Clara; so as retaliation, Clara turned the opposite way of Hermoine and joked extremely loudly with Ron until class started.

As Snape glided into class with that slick smile spread across his face, Harry noticed his eyes flicker towards Clara for an instant. Harry knew that Clara wasn't imagining the fact that Snape continuously looked at her; it was definitely true. "Oh, I see Miss Dellmont has finally graced us with her presencs, after, what was it, 6 weeks?" Snape spat while sneering at her.

"It was 5 weeks, and you know that I had to leave," Clara said almost as if it was a question. She seemed like she was trying so hard to not say something stupid to him, and Harry knew how hard that was.

"I do not care why you were not present in class, Miss Dellmont. I am only interested to know if you have completed any of your homework?" Snape grinned at her, knowing that she hadn't even touched her homework in that time.

"Dumbledore told me that I wouldn't have to do homework while I was gone," Clara sheepishly added. She obviously didn't want to flat out tell him that she couldn't complete her homework because she was busy bawling over her dead mother. No one would want to explain that in front of the whole class. Harry felt bad for Clara, and was starting to get mad at Snape's unusually ruthless behavior.

"He would have notified me if he had, Miss Dellmont, but nice try," Snape said while smiling coyly.

Harry didn't want to have to sit there and watch Snape make Clara feel uncomfortable about her mother's death any longer. It wasn't fair to Clara and it was an asshole thing for Snape to say, so Harry had to stand up for her, "Professor, you don't know—"

"Stay out of this, Potter!" Snape snarled at Harry, while never losing eye contact with Clara.

"You couldn't have expected me to do homework while I was gone!" Clara said, losing a little of her temper. She was not enjoying Snape's infamous questioning and who would, especially if he is trying to punish you for something so ridiculous. "You obviously have no idea, Professor, of why I was gone"

"No I don't, Miss Dellmont; please, enlighten us," Snape answered with a grin on his face. That bastard was enjoying this way too much and it was disgusting.

"I wasn't here because I had to fly to America," Clara said quietly. It took her a moment to finally express, "Because—'cause, my mother died."

Snape turned even whiter than he was before and he swallowed hard. Harry didn't know why Clara's mom dying would have this effect on Snape. Maybe he felt guilty, Harry thought, but after a moment, realized this was simply preposterous. He laughed at little, knowing that someone like Professor Snape never felt guilty for any rotten thing he did. For some reason though, Harry couldn't help but think that dear Snape knew more about Clara's mother than he was letting on.

**R R**


	13. Still in Love

**Wow...um this story hasn't gotten any reviews which I can understand that bcuz there are so many Harry Potter fanfics, but I just hope _someone_ will read this. If not, at least I had a good time writing it lol. RR**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters**

"So, what do you reckon Snape knows 'bout your mom?" asked Ron, the second they were all away from the dungeons. Everyone had noticed Snape's reaction to hearing of Clara's mother dying. He knew Clara's mom, there was no denying that, but how he knew her was a mystery.

"I don't know; my mom never really told me much about her past," sighed Clara. Harry found it weird that Clara didn't know anything about her mom, seeing as her mother raised her for almost 18 years.

"She never even told you which school she went to?" asked Harry curiously.

Clara paused and thought a moment. She seemed to be too deep into thought to notice that they were blocking most the hallway and causing a major jam.

"Err…Clara?" asked Ron, while waving his hand in front of her face to get her out of a daze. She quickly grabbed his slender hand and smiled while she pretended to bite it. She giggled at him as he rushed to get his hand away before she really did bite it. Ron blushed awkwardly at her and Harry felt a pang of jealousy in his stomach, but tried his best to ignore it. Even if Clara and him only kissed once, he still didn't like to see her flirting with his best friend.

When everyone calmed down and they started walking again, Clara finally answered to Harry, "Well, my mother was from London, so it would make sense that she would have gone to school here at Hogwarts," she was quiet a moment before adding, "but she never actually told me where she went to school; she didn't tell me anything." For a moment, Harry noticed the conflicted look in Clara's eyes as she said this. She didn't seem to know what to think about her mother anymore, now knowing what she knew currently. She had found out that her mother had lied her ass off and that she had been cheated out of a father. Clara didn't know if she was allowed to be angry with her dead mother, but she was anyway.

"If she went here, maybe you could ask Hagrid, he went here too," said Ron absent mindedly before his eyes grew wider and he groaned, "Harry, we forgot to visit Hagrid!"

"I know…Hermoine made it a point to remind me," answered Harry who was now realizing that he almost forgot about visiting Hagrid again today. He made a vow to himself to stop forgetting these kinds of things, that vow probably wouldn't last very long.

"Well, how about I visit him today; since you guys are going there anyways, I might as well too," Clara said with an overly cheery tone and Harry looked at her suspiciously. She was way too good at acting happy when she wasn't and this concerned Harry. He never knew when she really needed to talk, unless she was crying. She was the hardest person to read and the fact that her smile was breath taking, didn't help much either. When she smiled, Harry never noticed if it was genuine or not, he just simply looked at her dreamily without thinking. He wanted to know when she was sad so that he could help her, but if she pretended to be happy all the time, he would never know if she was really happy or really covering up her true feelings. Harry worried about Clara bottling up her emotions because he knew how depressing it was to have to hide your real feelings.

"Alright, so tonight we are definitely visiting Hagrid, no forgetting this time?" asked Ron cheerfully. He smiled at them as both Harry and Clara nodded, but Ron didn't notice that Harry and Clara's minds were somewhere else. Harry was thinking about that kiss with Clara that he had had that one beautiful night, while Clara was thinking about the possible secrets that Hagrid could reveal about her mother…or father.

As Harry, Ron and Clara trudged over to Hagrid's tiny cabin, they were silent. There was too much on all of their minds right then, Clara was thinking about her mother's secrets, but Harry and Ron were both thinking of Hermoine. She was avoiding them all now and it was really getting ridiculous. She had said to Harry that she would stop, but she is doing the same things that she was doing before. Harry had a feeling that this had to do with what she was going to tell him earlier this morning, but he figured that he would just ask about it later.

When the three of them finally reached the door, Ron slowly reached his hand up to knock on the door. After three short knocks, the three of them stood there shivering and waiting for Hagrid to open the door. They were about to turn around when Hagrid finally swung the door opened and hooted, "I was won'rin wen yer was gon'ta see meh!"

They all smiled at him happily as he let them inside his warm cabin, "How are you, Hagrid?" asked Harry casually, trying not to flat out ask him the burning questions that were in his mind.

"Im all righ'," replied Hagrid cheerily when he spotted Clara looking curiously around the room. He seem to lose some of his smile when he added, "I see yer made friends wit Clara"

"You knew that Hagrid; you saw her with us after we got off the train," said Ron when he noticed a little awkwardness in the crowded cabin.

"Oh yah, now I 'member," sighed Hagrid who tried to not make eye contact with anyone. He was acting suspicious, Harry could tell that. He didn't know what Hagrid was keeping from him, but Harry was determined to know what it was.

"Are you all right?" asked Harry curiously, hoping that Hagrid would tell him something.

"Yesh, why woodn't I be?" replied Hagrid with a guilty smile on his giant-like face.

"There is something your not telling us, Hagrid. What is it?" Harry dared to keep pressing Hagrid for more information. He knew that Hagrid knew something about Clara's family, and Clara had a right to know as well.

Hagrid cautiously backed up a few steps before giving the fakest look of innocence Harry had ever seen. Hagrid looked towards the ceiling as he said, "I ain't hidin' nuttin,"

"Hagrid, that is the worst lie I have ever heard." Ron said impatiently, he was eager to know the truth as well, "If you weren't hiding anything, then why did you run away from us all guilty the other day?"

Hagrid looked like he was at a loss for words. He was so bad at trying to keep something a secret and Harry could tell it was difficult for him. Hagrid looked a little flushed when he said, "I can't tell yer" He appeared as if he had just made up his mind and like he was going to try his best not to budge.

Harry wasn't going to give up that easy though, "We can keep a secret, Hagrid; you know we can. Come on, it can't be that serious, and if it is…it probably has to do with me anyways." Harry stared up at him with pleading eyes, and it looked like it was working.

It worked, for a minute, anyway, before Hagrid started shaking his head, "Naw, I'm sorry, Harry, but I can't do dat." This made Harry's smile fade slightly and was about to beg for more information, but Clara cut him off.

"Do you know who my father is?" Clara asked blatantly, like she couldn't hold it in any longer. She must have been busting this whole time to find out more about her past.

Hagrid made an odd gurgling sound before he looked down and started twiddling with his thumbs. He looked like he was trying desperately not to say anything but after a moment or to he sighed, "I aint the person that shoo'd be tellin' yer these things."

"I have no one else to tell me these things…my mother's dead and I've just found out that she's been lying to me all this time. I just want to know the truth," she looked at Hagrid with a pleading gaze with her piercing blue eyes. She was starting to tear up as she searched Hagrid's face for any compassion whatsoever. Clara wanted so bad know anything, as long as it was real; as long as it was the truth she had been deprived of all her life.

Clara's innocent and desparate look seemed to be breaking away Hagrid's defenses. It appeared as if he was crumbling, like he was going to tell her something, when there was a knock on the door. As those continuous knocks pounded the door, Clara closed her eyes and put her head in her hands. Just when she was about to find out what she had longed to know all her life, just when she thought that she was getting the opportunity to learn the truth, someone made it all come crashing down.

"Hmm…wonder who'd be visitn' me besides you three," Hagrid said awkwardly as he got up to answer the door.

Clara still looked upset and when Harry was about to comfort her, he saw Ron moving to do the same thing. Harry didn't want to, but he knew that he had to back off and let Ron comfort her; no matter how hard it was.

"Ahh! It was only fluffy and his tail..." shouted Hagrid happily, "he's been ou' fer a couple hours an' I was startin' ter werry!" This made Clara take her head out of her hands as she looked up and saw the monsterous dog enter the cozy cabin. She looked a tad scared until she saw that no one else was, and then she relaxed. Harry watched her intently, he was waiting for the conversation to pick back up.

Hagrid was still standing in the doorway as if he didn't want to sit down; like he was afraid he might spill the secret he was trying so hard to keep. Ron didn't let him stand there for too long before he said, "Hagrid, come on...the girl just wants to know who her father is."

"An' tha's the one thing I can' tell yer," muttered Hagrid a tad bit angrily. He was trying to scare them into stopping their questions, but that would never work. They all knew that he was the gentlest person they'd ever known.

"Who's making you keep it a secret?" pryed Harry, with much curiosity. He was wondering who would deny Clara the joy of knowing who her father was, he didn't understand why it could hurt anyone, not yet.

"Harry, I ain't sure I shoo'd tell yer..." Hagrid trailed off he wasn't liking the direction of this conversation at all.

"Hagrid, did you only promise that you wouldn't tell me who my father is?" asked Clara suddenly.

"Err.ya" Hagrid said shortly while shifting his feet.

"If that's the only thing you promised, then you can tell me anything besides _who _my father is. Like who told you to keep it a secret? Why wouldn't they want me to know? And How does Snape know my mother?" Clara said in an excited jumble. She wanted to know so bad.

"I...err..." stuttered Hagrid.

Ron was losing patience, "Your not breaking any promises by telling us Hagrid!"

After another eternity of hesitation, Hagrid finally began, "Well, Dumbledore tol' me not ter tell ya cuz yer Aunt Rosalin' wadn't sure if yer mother wanted yer ta know. She insisted that we kep' yer mothers wishes..."

"How does Snape know my mother?" Clara said a little wide-eyed at the fact that Dumbledore was the one who was keeping her from knowing her father's identity. She had grown to respect and enjoy Dumbledore very much, it was a little unsettling to hear that he was withholding this information from her. What's more, is that Snape seemed to know her mother very well, telling by his reaction to her death. Clara was deeply concerned as to why he would do that if he didn't have some kind ofa past with her mother.

"If I tol' ya tha' then I wood break meh promise," said Hagrid with a wink, who was trying to seem nonchalante, but these words alarmed all three of the teens on the couch. What exactly was Hagrid hinting at?

Harry was stunned and didn't know if Hagrid meant for it to sound the way he thought it sounded, so Harry questioned, "You're not saying-Snape was never...err _with _Clara's mom?"

This brought a shudder to both Clara and Harry's backs, just thinking of the possibility that Snape could be...Clara's...ugh it was just too much!

"Aw, naw o' course nawt! He wished that he was but he-" Hagrid stopped himself in midsentence when he realized what he had just let slip.

"Snape used to be in LOVE with my Mother?" Clara said with disbelief, while looking rather pale.

Hagrid looked insanely angry with himslef for letting that secret slip, but nodded in agreement to Clara's question. So it was confirmed; though Snape wasn't (thank God) her father, he had loved her mother long ago... and from the look on his face whenClara told him that her mother died, he was still in love.


	14. It Takes Talent

**Disclaimer: I don't own these characters!**

After the discovery that Snape used to love Clara's mom, Harry, Ron and Clara had gotten even closer than normal. They all would sit in the common room and talk of what that must mean. All of them wanted Clara to know whom her father was and they tried their best to help her.

Hermoine wasn't a part of this because she chose not to be. She would sit on the other side of the common room and study deep into the night. Harry had tried to invite her over but every time she would say coldly, "No, I'm busy." Even when he tried to ask her about what she was going to tell him that day before Ron and Seamus interrupted them, she would just tell him to forget it. Harry knew it was important and he wished that Hermoine would just tell him, but she wasn't ready to do that.

Before they all knew it, two weeks had passed and it was the brisk Saturday morning of the long awaited Quidditch game. It was Gryffindor against Ravenclaw and Harry was just itching to get playing on the field. He awoke with a start, very early into the morning. The sun wasn't even up yet, but Harry couldn't get back to sleep so he hopped out of bed and got dressed. He went downstairs to the common room and was relieved to see that no one else was there. Harry quickly went down the Great Hall for an early breakfast, but after a while he discovered that he was too excited to eat. He was always so anxious before any of his Quidditch games.

Harry only had to sit there a few more minutes until he saw a couple members of his team sit down next to him at the table. They too, were restless for their upcoming game. They hadn't played a game all year and Harry was curious to see how the new additions to their team would be. He would find out soon enough though, because after a while it was time to leave for the field.

"I reckon were gonna cream 'em," said Ron as they traveled towards the Quidditch field excitedly.

"Yeah we probably will…unless _someone_ still is holding a grudge against their teammate" replied Harry while grinning at his friend. He was reminding Ron of the incident with Declan.

Ron blushed slightly then joked, "I think I scared him enough; no need to hold a grudge." They laughed and shook their heads as they entered the Gryffindor locker room. Everyone changed into their maroon uniforms and then sat down on the bench.

They were waiting for the game to start, but until then they had nothing to do. Usually they had to listen to Wood's speeches and ideas until the minute they stepped out onto the field, but right now, they still didn't have a captain.

"So…..when were we planning to have that vote for team captain?" questioned Katie who sat next to them on the bench. Everyone just shrugged and looked down nervously awaiting the game to come.

It seemed like forever before Harry heard the crowd entering the stands. They only took a few minutes to settle in their seats, and then it was time. "It's time to go." Harry said while standing up and walking to the entrance. The team followed and as they stepped onto the bright green field the crowd cheered with enthusiasm.

Harry walked to his place on the field and stood there waiting for the referee's whistle to blow. They stood for a moment until the Ravenclaw's team captain went to the middle of the field to shake hands with the Gryffindor team captain. They didn't have one yet so no one knew what to do.

"Who should go up there?" hissed Declan, who was right beside Harry.

"I dunno…..maybe Ron should because he's closest," Harry answered softly.

"No way, not that guy. How about you go do it Harry?" asked Declan excitedly.

Angelina heard him and she was quick to agree, "Yeah Harry, just go! Nobody minds, we'll just have the vote later!"

Harry looked from Declan to Angelina, he didn't know if the rest of the team would appreciate him acting like he was the team captain, but he heard the crowd getting restless. He didn't want to make anyone mad so he looked around and everyone of his teammates were nodding for him to go up and shake the Ravenclaw team captains hand. So Harry slowly strode up to the tall red headed girl and shook her hand stiffly before returning to his spot on the field.

The whistle blew and Harry mounted his broomstick and then kicked of the ground, hard. He flew above all the rest of the players and watched for the snitch flying around field. As Harry was looking for the golden Snitch, he listened to Lee Jordan's commentary.

"And Gryffindor gets the quaffle and Katie is taking it to the goalposts, she's going to score—OH NO! That was a nice hit by the Ravenclaw beater, McClain. Now Ravenclaw has the quaffle and is taking it towards Weasley, the new goal keeper. He passes to Jorkins and she passes to Clemens, who SHOOTS and…..NICE SAVE BY RON WEASLEY!"

The crowd cheered as they watched Ron's excellent save. Harry smiled as he circled the field looking for the snitch. He was proud that Ron had done so well, he remembered that Ron had had trouble before. As Harry was circling, he saw the Ravenclaw seeker watching him intently. He knew what he should do, and Harry smiled as he prepared to dive.

Harry tipped his broomstick forward and was speeding right towards the ground and he saw the seeker diving right behind him. He could hear the crowd's gasps, as he was completely vertical and headed right for the ground. When Harry was within 10 feet of the bright green field he outstretched his hand, almost like he really did see the snitch. Harry pulled up just in time, but the Ravenclaw seeker crashed straight into the ground. Harry was surprised that his tactic had actually worked, even though he did see it in the Quidditch World Cup, he hadn't suspected that anyone would fall for it after that.

Harry smiled as he saw the Gryffindor section in the crowd cheer ecstatically and hold up a sign that said, Go Harry! What made his smile even wider was hearing Lee Jordan scream, "HE IS A GENIUS! WE HAVEN'T SEEN A DIVE LIKE THAT SINCE KRUM AT THE QUIDDITCH CUP. THE RAVENCLAW'S ARE DONE FOR NOW."

"Oh, Sorry Professor, um actually the Ravenclaws will be fine, I'm sure their seeker will be moving in a few minutes," Jordan added sheepishly.

The game was on pause while everyone stared at Joel Beckett's, the Ravenclaw Seeker's, immobile body lying still on the ground. Harry felt guilty for tricking Beckett into getting hurt, but as he heard some people from the crowd shout again and again, Way to go Harry, he pushed the thought to the back of his mind. After a couple minutes, Harry saw Joel's hand twitch and relief swept over him. Now that he knew that the Ravenclaw seeker was okay, he went back to searching for the snitch.

"And their seeker is actually okay!" shouted Lee Jordan who sounded shocked, "Now the game can continue."

As Joel stumbled his way to his feet, the nurse declared that he was going to be fine. After another moment or two, he headed towards his broomstick and tried to mount it. After Beckett kicked off the ground, the whistle sounded yet again.

The Ravenclaw teamseemed to be angry at Harry's tactic because the beaters used every chance they got to try and shoot the boulders at Harry's head. He dodged them the best he could, but it was hard to look for the snitch and dodge the boulders at the same time. Once when he was concentrating too hard on looking for the snitch, he didn't notice a boulder that ended up hitting him right in the back of the head.

"NOW THAT HAS TO BE A FOUL! THOSE DIRTY ROTTEN RAVENCL—Sorry prefessor, um that is a SERIOUS FOUL!"

The referee called a foul and Katie was able to score ten points for Gryffindor. The crowd cheered enthusiastically while there was some boos from the Ravenclaws and Slytherine's that could be heard as well.

As the game wore on, Harry was getting frustrated by not being able to find the snitch. After twenty minutes, Gryffindor's were winning 70-60. Harry was shaking his head in fury, when he noticed that the snitch was right by Joel Beckett's foot. He didn't want to alarm Beckett, so Harry casually dropped lower, and Joel did the same. Harry moved slightly over in order to get closer to the snitch, and Joel did that too. When Harry was about to grab the snitch, Joel realized what was going on and he banged into Harry as violently as possible. Harry had to loop around in order to stay on his broom, and by the time he was thinking straight, the snitch had gone.

Harry could hear the crowd's disappointment, but he ignored it and went back to circling the field searching frantically for the snitch. Joel Beckett was right below him, following his every move. He knew he wouldn't be able to get the snitch even if he found it, as long as Beckett was circling below. Harry had to do something, besides diving straight for the ground, to get Joel away. That is, after he found the snitch.

Then, there it was, the snitch! It was on the other side of the field, but Joel was still closer to it. Harry had to think amoment on what he was going to do; then he smiled and nodded with approval at his plan.

Harry zoomed the opposite way of the snitch, and Joel was right behind him; just when Joel was catching up, Harry swerved sharply. He was going straight for the snitch, it was within 20 feet, now 10, Harry outstretched his hand as it came closer and finally he was grasping it into his hand when—

BAM!

Joel Beckett bashed into him, yet again, while knocking Harry off his broom. The only thing Harry could manage to hold on to was the frayed end of the broomstick. Harry was dangling in midair about 60 feet above the ground, with only the sweeping end of a broomstick to grasp onto. Harry was not as worried as he should have been however because, he still had the snitch held tightly in his hand. Harry held it up for the crowd to see.

"OH MY GOODNESS, POTTER STILL HAS THE SNITCH IN HIS HAND! HAHA NICE TRY BECKET, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME AT CHEATING—sorry, professor, I mean, way to go Gryffindor's win!"

Harry however, was still dangling with one hand onto his broomstick and wasn't sure if he could really hang on any longer, because soon, the ends were starting to break off. He had fallen once at fifity feet in the air, and Harry wasn't planning on doing it at sixty. So he swung as hard as he could, so that he could attach his legs to the broomstick. The crowd just watched in awe at Harry's attempts to get safely onto the broomstick.

Once Harry accomplished that, he used his one free hand (he was still holding on to the snitch) to grab onto the broomstick and flip himself so that he was right side up. Everyone sighed in relief as they saw Harry fly to the ground safely on his broomstick.

The other team members were already on the ground waiting for him happily. They cheered and patted him on the back as Declan muttered to him, "You would have fallen before you would have let that snitch go….you are crazy." Harry just laughed cheerfully along with the rest of his team mates because there was nothing like that feeling of winning.

* * *

**ok dont worry you guys... there will be more about Clara in the next chapter**


	15. False Hopes

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of its characters, the only character I own was created by me (Clara)**

**READ AND REVIEW**

After Gryffindor's glorious victory against Ravenclaw, Harry's spirits soared. Following the game, the whole team went back to the common room and found a party there waiting for them. It was fantastic. The celebrations ran deep into the night and would have lasted even longer, if professor McGonagall hadn't have told them all to go to bed. As Harry lay down to go to sleep, he was unbelievably happy, for the first time in a long, long while.

In the days afterwards, however, his attentions switched from the Quidditch game, to the mystery of Clara's father. All they knew was that Snape used to be in love with Clara's mother and while Hagrid denied that Snape was the father, maybe Hagrid was lying. Harry always shuddered at this thought and couldn't help but think that this was impossible. How could sniveling and greasy black-haired Snape be a father to sweet and beautiful blonde-haired Clara? It didn't make since.

Even though it made no sense, Ron, Harry and Clara always tried to subtly ask Snape questions. If someone were to know who was her father, it would be Snape since he was in love with Genevieve, Clara's mom. He never seemed to give them any answers though, he just told them to shut up and get back to work.

"You'd think if he was so in love with your mom that he would be nicer to you," added Ron bitterly as Snape stalked away from them.

"Maybe he's mad because he's not the father," added Harry hopefully.

Clara laughed and sighed, "I think Hagrid was telling the truth you guys; I don't think my mother would have ever been with him." She was looking over at Snape thoughtfully trying to figure it all out.

As the bell rang though, she shook herself out of it and they left the dungeons. They headed to lunch where they argued back and forth the possibilities until Ron let out exasperatedly, "How about you just ask Dumbledore! If you talked to him, he might change his mind."

Harry looked up and quickly said, "Ron, that is the first good idea you've had all year!" If Clara talked to Dumbledore, maybe he would change his mind, or at least they would know why he wouldn't tell them.

As Harry smiled at them both, Ron shot back defensively at him, "I have plenty of good ideas!" Harry laughed with Ron as Clara shook her head.

"Harry, I don't know. Does Dumbledore really need me bothering him about my father?" she asked timidly.

"Dumbledore would understand; you would think that he wouldn't have enough time to care, but he does. He'll either tell you who your father is or he'll explain why he can't. It's a win-win situation," Harry answered with encouragement. Clara just looked from Harry to Ron then Ron to Harry and finally sighed.

"Your right….." she paused, "How soon can I talk to him?"

* * *

It was going on midnight and Clara had already gone to talk to Dumbledore. She had left hours ago and she still wasn't back; Harry couldn't tell if this was a good thing or a bad thing. Him and Ron just sat quietly pretending to do their homework while waiting patiently for her return. 

"That's it," said Ron as he slammed down his pen and parchment, "I can't concentrate at all!"

"Me neither"sighed Harry as he set his things down. He looked around the common room and noticed that the only people left were: him, Ron and three second years laughing in the corner; Harry figured it must have been extremely late. "Ron, do you think we should try and go to sleep? I mean, even if Clara does come back knowing who her father is, she probably won't wanna tell us right away."

"And why in the bloody hell would she not want to tell us?" asked Ron lightheartedly

"Well, when I first found out that Sirius was my godfather and that he wasn't trying to kill me, I wanted to just talk to him without anyone else there, you know?" said Harry, not really sure if Ron would know. It was difficult for Harry to explain, but he had a feeling that Clara would want to just process this new found and important information before she went on telling everyone.

Ron nodded though, in agreement, "Yeah, we should at least try to sleep. Though I don't s'pose I'll catch a wink."

They both seemed to gather there things as slowly as possible, and it was almost as if they were trying to give more time for Clara to come back, but she didn't. Harry trudged up the spiral staircase with his eyes still fixed on the porthole, but no one crawled through it. He expected that him and Ron would be up for hours while lying still in their beds, but Harry was wrong. The second they collapsed and laid their heads on their feather pillows, they fell right to sleep. I guess when you're anticipating something so much, you don't notice the world around you.

* * *

Harry was startled awake by a loud noise downstairs in the common room. He sat up quickly and looked out the window to see that it was still extremely dark. He was only sitting on his bed for a moment before he decided to come downstairs and check it out. After all, maybe it was Clara. 

For some reason, Harry was nervous as he cautiouslyopened the door. When he did, Harry knew why. "Voldemort?"

"That's LORD Voldemort, Harry. I would think such a good boy like you would have some manners." Harry still couldn't believe his eyes; usually Voldemort waited until the end of the year with some elaborate plan to kill him, but this time, he was just going to do it, right here in the school.

Harry took a deep breath as he confidently walked down the stairs like he was meeting a friend, not an enemy trying to assassinate him. He answered back coolly, "Good to see you again, Tom." Harry smiled at this while he remembered how Dumbledore addressed Voldemort this way too, "Here again to try and kill me?"

Voldemort's eyes flashed with sudden anger before he calmed himself down. Then he replied with venom, "No Harry, you know the drill; I like to wait until later. I am just here to torment you." Harry was startled by the wicked grin on Voldemort's face and he was perplexed on how he would be "tormented".

Voldemort was studying him while standing in front of the fire. His legs were hidden behind a chair, but from what Harry saw, Voldemort was becoming stronger. Harry never liked to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he was scared though, so he answered casually, "How are you going to torment me, **_LORD_** Tom Riddle." Harry was surprised at himself, the way these things were coming out of his mouth; he was shocked at the fact that he was actually mocking Voldemort.

Harry couldn't see any anger flashing in his eyes, only a smug smile on his face that made Harry want to cringe. Voldemort said nothing as he stepped aside and kicked something on the floor. Whatever it was moved a little until Harry's jaw dropped at the site, "SIRIUS?"

He started sprinting towards his godfather, in hopes that he was really seeing him, in hopes that maybe he was really still alive. Harry didn't get far however because Voldemort stopped him, while he was still 10-feet away. "I wouldn't do that if I were you Harry."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"Because then I'll really kill him." Harry looked at Voldemort squarly and without blinking; he had no fear at the moment for his own life, only for Sirius'. Harry was going to say something until Voldemort explained, "I will probably kill him later anyways, not that that is some big secret, but I just thought that I could never pass up a chance to make your life worse than it already is."

Harry was having a very had time thinking at the moment because this was all happening so fast. He didn't knowwhat to do besides stand there. There was nothing he could do, without getting his only family member killed. The only thing he didn't get is why was Voldemort really here. Was he really here just because he wanted to torture Harry, or was it something else? Harry wanted to see if Voldemort was telling the truth, "What if I killed him instead? You know, just push Sirius into the fire."

Voldemort wrinkled his brow and said in a voice that sounded like he was trying to not care, "That would take some of the fun out of it for me, but since he's going to die anyways...that sounds like quite a show." Voldemort stared at Harry menacingly, "Watching the great Harry Potter kill his own beloved godfather. I do believe i am rubbing off on you."

"No," answered Harry firmly, "not at all...since, like you said, he's going to die anyways, I would rather him die as painlessly and quickly as possible and not by an idiot such as yourself."

Harry was smiling triumpantly at Voldemort for a total of two seconds before he saw a change in his opponent's eyes. In a split second he started running towards Sirius, because Voldemort was pissed. Harry had went a tad bit too far and now he was dodging spells left and right while gathering his godfather onto his back. Where he could run, Harry didn't know, but at the moment he was running towards the porthole, but he didn't get far. All of a sudden, it seemed as if his uncle and Voldemort were being sucked into the fire in a swirl of green. Harry was even trying to hold onto Sirius long after he knew that there was no hope. Even so, Harry still tried to follow them into the fire, because just maybe, he could go with them, and save his godfather. He was yelling out of anger and frustration and maybe even pain, as he stood in the fire thrashing for someone that was gone.

"HARRY!"

He was being shaken and pulled away from the fire with a sudden force and for the first time since he had gotten out of bed he felt like his eyes were really open. It was a weird sensation that came over his body, but Harry couldn't pay much attention to anything besides what had just happened.

"Harry look at me," It was Clara's voice that was speaking to him and she looked scared out of her mind once Harry finally made eye contact. She swallowed hard before she said, "You were sleepwalking...and standing in the fire."

"I wasn't sleeping!" Harry said, he knew that it was real, none of his dreams were ever like that.

"Harry, i was on the couch down here sleeping, and I woke up when you were running towards the fire. You were yelling and I couldn't wake you up. I tried to pull you away from the fire, but you wouldn't let me."

Harry closed his eyes again as he started to really understand what happened. He was so embarressed for making a fool of himself over a stupid dream. He was mad at himself for not accepting that Sirius was dead, and having to make up dreams to give him false hopes.

He was putting his hands over his face when Clara added, "I sent Hermoine to go and get the nurse so she could take care of your burns."

"My what?" Harry said as he looked down, but immediately he regretted it. His skin was charred and looked like it was falling off of him. It was wrinkly and Harry was afraid that if he moved, all his skin would come off all together. From what he had learned about fire in the public schools, this was definitely third degree burns. He was disgusted with himself and was glad that he couldn't see his face at that moment because if his face was have as badly burnt as his legs, then he would look like someone had tried to rip his face off. He winced as he finally realized that he still had feeling in his arms, but the feeling wasn't good. He was just now noticing the excrutiating pain in his arms and stomach.

Harry tried to ignore the pain as he cast a look around him and saw that Clara was not the only one there. Practically the entire Gryffindor house was there, staring at him with disbelief. This was the first time he noticed that Ron was sitting next to him too, looking as pale as a ghost.

"Harry...what were you dreaming about that could make you so...desparate?" Clara asked with deep concern. Ron cast her a cautious glance because he knew what Harry was dreaming about, and that's what scared him. Ron knew that sometimes Harry's dreams were real, and this one seemed as real as ever.

"Clara," Harry replied distantly, "it was just false hopes..."


	16. Afraid to Dream

As Harry lay there, in the hospital wing, with his eyes closed tight in a fake slumber, he was listening intently to a conversation between the nurse and Professor Dumbledore.

"The boy was _standing in a fire_, Dumbledore, that is not normal," whispered the nurse in a worried tone.

"Yes, well, Harry has never had to deal with normal problems either. When he wakes up you'll see that there is a reason for it, Poppy."

"I can't imagine there being a reason for burning yourself in a blazing fire!"

"It doesn't seem logical, I know, but try to understand, for a second, that he could have been thinking of something or someone else besides himself at that moment," answered Dumbledore tiredly.

Harry had been listening to conversations like these all morning while he continued to pretend to be asleep. Everyone thought it was bizarre for him to willingy harm himself the way he did. The truth was he was ashamed of his actions; he couldn't believe that he had stood in the fire to the point where he practically melted his skin off. He didn't want to talk to anyone, and have them look at him like he was insane. Sure, Harry was used to being thought of as insane by strangers, but now even the nurse thought he was crazy; imagine what was going around school?

As the nurse walked into another room, Harry could sense Dumbledore looking at him for a few moments before he said patiently, "It's time you stopped pretending, Harry."

Harry grinned as he sat up slowly and opened his eyes to see Dumbledore sitting neatly beside him. "You knew the whole time?"

"You can't fool me, Harry!" winked Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eyes.

There was a small silence that followed where Harry simply waited for Dumbledore to ask him what had happened that night, where he had dreamed…or actually seen (Harry still didn't know whether it was real or not), Voldemort and Sirius in the Gryffindor common room. When Dumbledore didn't ask him, and just continued to sit and stare pleasantly at Harry, he said sheepishly, "So everyone thinks I'm crazy again, huh?"

"You know, Harry, a lot of people think I am crazy as well, but other people also say I am "brilliant". Not everyone is going to understand or agree with you, and they have a right to their own opinions. It's like how you detest Draco Malfoy so much, while other people like the boy."

Harry slowly nodded, "I know, but everyone is always talking about things they know nothing about. They don't know why I was standing in the fire, and they don't know why my scar burns, but they talk about it anyways. I try not to let it bother me, professor, but…I hate the pointing and whispering as I walk through the halls."

Here is where Harry was half expecting Dumbledore to ask him why he was standing in the fire, but he didn't. Dumbledore just answered, "Sadly Harry, I'm afraid that people will probably always do that to you. You're **the boy who lived**, and as such, you continue to have battles and problems because of that." The headmaster looked compassionately at Harry before adding, "People don't know what the prophecy said, Harry, but you do, and as long as there is a Voldemort, he will continue to cause these troubles for you. And people, though they know nothing of it, will want to comment on it. Think nothing of it though, because you are better than that."

Harry had to cast his eyes down at this because he couldn't take the look in Dumbledore's eyes. He nodded solemnly and answered, "Okay" before he felt compelled to share, "I had a dream….that's why I was in the fire, or actually, I thought it was real until Clara woke me up."

Dumbledore nodded patiently, but didn't press Harry to continue. Harry continued anyways, "I dreamed that I woke up, same as usual, in the middle of the night and I heard something in the common room so I went down there to check it out, but when I did…Voldemort was there. He said he wanted to torment me or something and I asked him how, or something like that and he kicked an object on the ground; then, out from behind the couch crawled Sirius. Voldemort said Sirius belonged to him now. And in my dream, I didn't want to believe it so I insulted Voldemort repeatedly before I really got him mad. He started conjuring spells at me, so I ran towards my godfather to try and save him. I picked Sirius up because he was too weak to move and I tried to run to the porthole, but before I got there he seemed to be sucked into the fire. I tried to hold on to him, but he was sucked into the fire along with Voldemort in a swirl of green. I didn't want to accept that he was gone so I kept reaching for Sirius…..he was gone though…." Harry was a little breathless after all this explaining, but he was glad that he was finally letting Dumbledore know about his dream. He wanted to know if it meant anything because if anyone knew anything about it, it would be Dumbledore.

Harry looked puzzeldly into Dumbledore's downcast eyes as he waited for a reply. Slowly, the headmaster answered, "Do you feel like the dream is real, Harry?"

"I think it would be foolish to think that it was real considering what happened last time I believed a dream was real."

"But if that hadn't have happened, what would you think?" asked Dumbledore sternly.

All Harry could do was shake his head and say, "I don't know"

"I'm afraid to say that, it might actually be real, Harry."

Harry closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. He thought he would be ecstatic to know there is a possibiliythat his godfather was still alive, the one person who felt like a real family member. But to think that he could bein the hands of Voldemort, it was almost worse. Right then Harry realized that Dumbledore wasn't just saying that it _might_ be real, he was saying that it was real, "What can we do?"

Dumbledore answered gently, "Harry, you know that this could possibly be a trap…like last time."

"Yeah, I know that, but we can't just let Sirius rot while being controlled by Voldemort. We need to help him," said Harry determinedly.

"I can't let you risk your life to save him. He did the same for you, remember? You would have given anything for him to have just stayed inside instead of coming to your rescue, wouldn't you? He would want you safe, Harry. That's all he ever cared about."

"I know, but all I want is for him to be safe too….and not to be suffering because of me," Harry was starting to get really frustrated with this conversation. He couldn't just go on with his daily life knowing that his godfather's every waking moment was a living hell.

"I am working on a way to help him, but Harry, you must promise that you will not try to save him. It is no time to be a hero. You must promise me," Dumbledore never looked so desperate. He stared down at Harry expectantly; he needed Harry to do this.

"Okay….but your going to try to help him?" Harry answered reluctantly.

Dumbledore nodded relieved. He stood up and started to walk towards the door until he turned around and said, "You must always remember Harry, that you are better than worrying about what everyone says about you. You're stronger than that."

Harry smiled grimly at his beloved headmaster as he walked softly away.

* * *

As Harry had rightly guessed, there were many rumors that had gone around while he spent the week in the hospital wing. The only people that knew the truth, however, was Ron, Hermoine, and Clara (of course). What Harry decided to keep from them though, was that Sirius was in fact, alive, and that the dream was real. He didn't know why he felt compelled to keep this from them, but he just wasn't ready to hear their reactions yet.

When Harry returned to classes on Tuesday, he was continually followed with stares and whispers and of course, many jokes from the infamous Malfoy. Harry wasn't as bothered by these though because he made sure Dumbledore's words eccoed in his head everytime he felt himself getting mad. He had to be stronger than that.

What also helped keep his mind off all of his problems, was the next Quidditch game was coming up sooner than expected. Harry of course was practicing like crazy along with the rest of the Gryffindor team. And since the last game, the team decided that it would make sense if they let Harry be team captain since he did shake hands as the team captain at their first game. Although Harry tried to say that he didn't want to take anyones place and that someone else probably wanted it more, they all agreed that it was for the best.

So Harry went on normally through his days, acting as if things were all right, but by nights, he hardly slept. This was because he was afraid that if he slept, that maybe he would dream.


	17. Anger at its Best

Harry sighed as he walked through the empty hallways of Hogwarts. The long awaited Quidditch game was here, and he could finally let out all of his pent up energy; and focus only on the game, which is something he hasn't been able to do in a long while.

As anxious as Harry was to play Quidditch, he still couldn't help but think about all the other things weighing on his mind. His main worry was Sirius. He kept thinking about what could happen to him and what Dumbledore might be doing to help. Then, he also had to worry about Voldemort and what he might be planning. His last worry was Clara, and her whole father issue. She still hasn't told a soul since she found out.

It seemed as if there were so many unknowns in Harry's life that he just needed to think about something he could control, and he could definitely control Quidditch. As this occurred to Harry he brightened up a bit and was able to sit down and eat a little breakfast before going out to the field. He was getting excited now, as he finished his breakfast and got up to head out the main doors. But soon enough he was stopped by Ron, Clara, and Hermoine.

"Harry, wait! Let us talk to you before you go out there," said Hermoine with a smile. It was nice that the second Harry was in the hospital, that Hermoine forgot all of her worries and focused on being a friend again. Although there relationship has been up and down all year, he still wanted her there for him.

"Sure…..er, anything in particular you wanna talk about?" Harry replied happily.

"Well I wanted to talk about how you didn't wake me up so I could walk to the field with you. I hate going there alone with all those Slytherines givin' nasty glares." Ron joked cheerfully.

"Sorry, you just looked so peaceful," Harry answered with a smirk, "We better go now though, it'll start soon."

As Harry and Ron started to say their goodbyes and walk away, Clara suddenly said, "I need to talk to you alone, Harry, before you go."

Harry turned around to answer, but she didn't wait for one. She grabbed his cloak and was slightly dragging him to an empty nearby classroom. Harry noticed that she had beautiful flowers that changed colors in her hands. He couldn't help but wonder who they were from.

He didn't wonder for long, however, because soon enough they were in the small and dimly lit classroom. Clara took a minute to breath in silence before she mumbled, "Dumbledore told me…….that night you had the dream."

Harry nodded because he knew exactly what she was talking about. He tried to look like he didn't mind waiting for her to tell him who it was, even though he was so incredibly impatient to find out. She kind of just looked around the room for a moment while fiddling with the flowers in her hands, before Harry noticed a tear roll down her cheek.

"You don't have to tell me, Clara. You can wait." Harry said these words but he didn't really mean them. In his head he wanted to beg her to find out. He was so curious to know the truth. It had been two weeks since she knew and if that wasn't enough time, he would have to wait longer. If she never wanted to tell him, Harry would have to deal with that.

"Sirius Black"

"What?" Harry said thinking he heard wrong. He was trying not to panic.

"My Father is Sirius Black. My Father is…dead." Clara whispered. She turned away from Harry and leaned against the wall while she let a few tears stream across her face.

Harry had to sit down; he was not ready to hear this, especially not now. He sunk down into a desk and put his head in his hands. His mind was racing; he forgot that Clara was even there for a moment.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was scared," she pleaded. Clara was crying harder now, although she managed not to make a sound as she did so.

"You waited two weeks." Harry stated without looking up, "He's my godfather."

"I know, it's just—"

"Please stop crying." Harry said. He knew he was being completely awful, but it was so hard not to tell her the truth.

"I'll never know my father and I've been looking for him my entire life. That's the whole reason why I came here. I wanted to find him and now, I discover that he is dead."

"I never knew either of my parents. I'm doing okay." Harry replied a little aggravated.

"Why are you being like this?" Clara shouted.

"Because you're sitting there sobbing, over someone you didn't even know. You didn't see him fall to his death, you weren't the cause of his death, and you don't even know what he looks like. You are crying over something you never had. You didn't have a father before, and you don't have a father now."

Clara looked at Harry horrified. Her cheeks were starting to flush with anger and her tears were starting to vanish. She was beginning to walk away from the wall, closer to Harry. He didn't care how much of a jackass he was being, he was so stressed out and tired of people pitying themselves.

"Harry, I know he's your godfather, and that you blame yourself for him dying. But you have no right to yell at me. I didn't have to tell you, but I did. I thought you were a nice person. To hell with you, though!"

"Sirius is alive," Harry uttered emotionless. He needed her to know, it was only fair. She told him who her father was, and she had a right to know that her dad was still alive. Though, he wasn't exactly going to tell her where Sirius was. He would save that little piece of information for later.

"WHAT?" Clara roared while throwing the mystery flowers on the ground. "You let me believe that I would NEVER meet my father even though he is still alive and then you yell at me for not telling you who my dad was sooner. What the hell!" Clara was now right near Harry's face and as he peered into her eyes, they looked like they wanted nothing less than to strangle him.

Harry was very taken aback by Clara's sudden flash of anger. He tried to compose himself, but he was feeling guilty now. She was right. "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone," he said awkwardly.

"I wasn't supposed to tell anyone either, but I told you!" Clara spat while pushing a bit at Harry's shoulders.

"Yes, but your information is a little less complicated then mine," Harry replied guardedly. He couldn't tell her where Sirius was, or that he was under Voldemort's reign.

"How is yours more complicated?" Clara questioned suspiciously.

Harry looked at Clara a moment deciding whether or not it would be wise to let her know everything or not. He had to tell her something though so he reluctantly said, "That dream I had, where I was standing in the fire, it was real. Sirius was in it, so I know that he is alive."

"Then, where is he? Don't even say that you don't know either!" Clara asked hopefully.

Harry looked at her pleading face and as much as he wanted to tell her, he couldn't. It would be too hard to inform her where Sirius was. It was painful enough for Harry to think about his poor godfather, he didn't want Clara to have to worry as well. "I just can't."

Clara raised her arm like she was going to smack Harry, but he managed to grab her hand before she did. She raised her other arm, but Harry grabbed that one too, and she was left with nothing else to hit him with. "Let go!" she screamed as her eyes appeared to be welling up with tears again.

"Are you going to try to hit me?" Harry asked gently

"Yes, I just want to meet him. Wouldn't you want to see your father againif you ever got the chance?" Clara asked as she struggled a little to get out of Harry's grip.

"There is a good reason why I can't tell you, Clara. I'm sorry." Harry sincerely replied, "I'm going to let go, now. Please don't hit me."

As Harry released Clara's arms she wiped her tears off her face and shook her head. "At least he is stillalive."

Harry looked down as he heard this comment. For some reason this made him sad. Sirius wasn't living, he was just suffering. It was all Harry could do to stop himself from trying to rescue his godfather right then.

Soon he felt a light touch on his shoulder and he smiled as Clara kissed him in the gentlest and purest way possible. It was passionate yet intimate, and everything that Harry needed in that moment. It was his comfort, to have her hot lips upon his. The kiss made him forget everything and remember only one thought, that he wanted this so bad. Harry felt himself back up towards the wall as they went deeper into each other. He felt her hands on his chest and her soft angelic hair on his face. When he was with her, Harry was in heaven.

The only problem in this matter was that those flowers that lay abandoned on the floor were from Ron. Ron, who had earlier that morning asked Clara on a date. Ron, the boy who had accidentally peeked in a moment ago, unnoticed, and saw that his best friend and long time crush were making out behind his back.


	18. Battle on the Quidditch Field

Harry was smirking as he left the abandoned classroom in a hurry with Clara. He saw that Ron had already left for the field, which meant that the game was probably beginning really soon. Harry waved goodbye over his shoulder as he started running towards the stadium in efforts to not be late. His head was spinning from what just happened moments ago. He and Clara kissed again, which was the thing that made Harry smile ear to ear, and he just discovered that Sirius was not only a godfather, but an actual dad as well. The new realization also raised a lot of questions, like how did Clara's mom Genevieve end up with Sirius and why did Sirius never say that he had a daughter, if he even knew.

He would have to ask Clara these puzzling questions after the Quidditch game however, because Harry had to focus and couldn't let these other things cloud his mind. As he approached the locker room, he took a deep breath and set his mind to only think about the game ahead and nothing else.

"Blimey, Harry, we thought you weren't going to make it!" shouted Katie relieved as he walked in.

"Well, I did," Harry answered with a smile, "How much time do I have?"

"Three minutes"

"Bloody Hell!" he said exasperated. Harry frantically started to change and get ready for the game with the little time he had.

He had just finished everything with a minute to spare, which was record time when Harry whispered to Ron, "I've got to tell you something later. You'll never believe it."

Harry was going to tell him about who Clara's father was, but Ron thought differently. His face grew bright red as he clenched his jaw and said nothing in response. Harry opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but before he could say anything the team started to rise from the bench and head out onto the field. He trailed slowly behind as he watched Ron speed ahead of him and his stomach plummeted, _What is Ron's problem, _Harry asked himself.

The referee motioned for him to shake hands with the Hufflepuff team captain and as he walked up and shook their captain's hand, he noticed Choo Chang staring at him. He gave a meek smile and blushed slightly as he backed up to the spot where he would take off. The piercing whistle blew and in a flash dozens of brooms shot up in the air at once.

Harry started circling the field in search of the snitch immediately and Choo Chang, like last time, attempted to follow him around the stadium. His eyes never stopped searching as he faintly listened to Lee Jordan's commentary—"That Weasley is sure showing some aggression out there, awesome save by Gryffindor goal keeper!" Harry smiled as heard this and continued listening, "Now McClain has the ball, and it is stolen by Bell, who drops it right in front of Rogers! Rogers swerves past a bulgur, elbows Declan in the face and he is gOING TO—YES! Weasley has saved Gryffindor again. But what is he doing now…?" Lee Jordan asks confusedly.

Harry looked down quickly to see what the confusion was about, and he watched as Ron flew in circles with the ball. He went round and round until he finally released the Quaffle with all of his strength. The ball traveled upward fast and was coming right towards Harry! With a slight swerve, Harry managed to avoid the ball, but not avoid his puzzlement. Harry was trying to figure out in his mind what Ron was trying to do, but couldn't. Was Ron aiming for him? Maybe he was just trying to keep the ball away from the other team. Harry didn't know, but he told himself it was an accident and went back to searching for the snitch.

"I don't know what Weasley was trying to do there, but Huffelpuff has quickly recovered the Quaffle and are heading towards— never mind, now Katie has stolen the ball and she passes to Angelina, who shoots and YES! Ten points for Gryffindor!"

Harry is still circling when he sees Choo gliding towards him. At first he thinks that she sees the snitch, but instead she stops her broomstick and sits right next to him. He looks up at her perplexed as she asks him, "How have you been, Harry?"

"Err……..just wonderful." Harry really didn't know what to say or what Choo wanted him to say. He found it odd that she felt compelled to ask him this in the middle of a game, but she really didn't seem to notice.

"That's good," Choo replied awkwardly as she looked down. For a few moments, she kept opening and closing her mouth, trying to decide whether or not to say something. Soon enough, she worked up the courage to say to him, "I visited you while you were in the hospital wing."

Harry was completely surprised at this and he blurted, "Really?" without even knowing it.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about you lately, and I suddenly realized that I really want to be a friend to you, Harry." Choo looked into his eyes; then she broke away from his gaze and laughed nervously. The way she looked at him made her seem like she was regretful. Choo probably regretted the way things happened and ended between them the year before. They never really talked after they "broke up". Then again, Harry wasn't even sure if they ever really officially started going out in the first place. He thought she was a really nice and beautiful person and so how could Harry not want to be friends with her? It was just surprising to him that someone like her would want to bother staying friends with him, someone that was and still is utterly clueless.

"I would like it if we—"

BAM

Harry felt a ball smack right into the side of his face. Blood was dripping out of his mouth now as looked at Choo who was staring at him aghast.

"Oh my goodness! I don't know why Potter was sitting there chatting with Chang, but he was just pelted with the Quaffle by his own goal keeper."

Harry could hear the Slytherines laughing and cheering in the stands. He tried to call a time out, but felt something in his mouth. He had to spit out about three teeth that got knocked out of him before he could shout the words.

The Gryffindor team slowly drifted to the ground. As Harry dismounted his broom he started to swagger towards Ron, "What's wrong?"

"Don't even start with me, Harry! Just do your god damn job and catch the snitch so I don't have to be on the field with you any longer than I have to." Ron wouldn't even look at Harry; he was bursting with anger and the sheer redness of his face was proof.

As the other team members dismounted, they all looked around like they were lost. Most of them could never picture Ron and Harry, the best of friends, at each others throats. The Gryffindors just stood around the two of them with shock at what was happening, while watching the argument turn nastier.

"Then stop pelting the Quaffle at my head. If you're pissed off just tell me like a normal person would, instead of trying to use a ball to send the message." Harry's anger was rising fast as him and Ron faced off in the middle of the field.

"Do you even know why I'm mad?" scoffed Ron as he started to violently poke Harry's chest.

"No, Ron, I don't. Because you seem to think that this bloody scar on my forehead gives me the power to read your mind. Well, hate to break it to ya, pal, but it doesn't!" Harry was now giving Ron the most hateful glare he had ever mustered in his life. He could not believe how his friend was acting.

"I saw you, Harry." Ron hissed in disgust.

"What?" Harry asked a little surprised.

"Today in that classroom, I saw what you did." Ron replied as a look of disappointment showed on his face.

Harry's anger quickly fell away as shame crept up his spine, and guilt settled in the pit of his stomach. Harry knew in that instant that Ron had seen him with Clara. He also remembered the flowers and as he looked at Ron, he realized that they were from Ron. He had betrayed his very best friend.

"Ron, I—" Harry started apologetically

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO APOLOGIZE?" Ron screamed with fury as he punched Harry squarely in the nose. He tried to tackle and punch and kick some more but in no time, the rest of the team was holding him back as Harry held his bloodied nose and mouth in his hand.

Within seconds, Professor McGonagall was there to pry Harry and Ron off of each other and off the field. She guided them into the lockers rooms and they walked past the changing area and outside the stadium. She dragged them across the grass, past the lake, and all the way back inside the Hogwarts castle. She silently led them up the staircase and into her dreaded office. As she sat down by the fireplace, Harry and Ron just stood there, not wanting to have to sit next to each other in the two chairs in front of her desk.

"Sit down," she commanded aggregately. They both looked coldly at each other as they sat down and waited for the punishments and yelling to start. "That was quite a display out there," she spat while her nostrils flared.

Neither of them said a word as they waited in silence. McGonagall sighed, "I suppose this is about Sirius and I don't blame you two for—"

"It is NOT about Sirius. I haven't told him anything professor." Harry cut in. Ron snapped his head to look over at Harry and gave him a furious wide-eyed look. He seemed to be shocked and hurt that Harry hadn't told him anything, in addition to being furious as well.

The professor seemed a little surprised as she cleared her throat uncomfortably and sputtered, "Never mind then."

"Now you are keeping secrets from me too?" Ron shouted with rage.

"It's none of your business anyways. Why would I tell you a single detail, when just ten minutes ago you were trying to rearrange my face?" Harry spat back. While he did feel horrible for betraying Ron like he did, he did not feel bad for keeping secrets from him. All of his entire life has been an open book; he's allowed to keep a few things to himself. Everyone else can have their privacy, why couldn't he?

"Boys, that is enough!" McGonagall interjected angrily, "Now I don't know what has caused you two to despise each other like this, but no matter how mad you are, that is no reason to fight, in the middle of a Quidditch game nonetheless."

"But professor—"

"Because of you both, Gryffindor was forced to forfeit the game" she said, almost like it pained her to do so.

"WHAT?"

"THAT IS NOT FAIR!"

She put her hand up to silence them both, which worked instantly. "That's what happens when you decide to have a fist fight on the field," she glared at both of them, "Now for your punishments, Weasley you will receive two detentions and Potter, you will serve one."

"Why does he only get one?" Ron asked heatedly.

"Because, Potter didn't try to retaliate in any way. He didn't try to fight back, or even defend himself, for that matter. He is only getting a detention because he was arguing with you before you attacked him." It was true that Harry didn't try to block Ron's punch, even though he had known it was coming. It was kind of like he just let himself get beaten.

"You will both serve your detentions on Wednesday with me. The next day, you Ron, will serve one more detention alone with another teacher." She paused for a second to look sternly at the both of them, "This is the second fight that you've both been in this year. I'm sure Dumbledore will want to speak to each of you very soon." She nodded and motioned to the door.

Both Ron and Harry stiffly rose from their seats and walked out of her office. Harry didn't want to go back to the common room where everyone was sure to be there waiting to see what happened, so he turned and headed towards the library instead. Ron kept on walking with his jaw clenched without even looking back.

**It's funny how quickly things can change. One minute your friends, the next your enemies. One day your godfathers dead, the next he's alive. One week your feeling good, and the next week everything falls apart.**


	19. Secrets Secrets Are No Fun

"_What's wrong with me?_" Harry wondered to himself as he roamed the hallways of Hogwarts. He had been walking around for hours through the corridors analyzing what had happened on the Quidditch field. He just couldn't get past the fact that he had betrayed Ron, and hadn't even felt guilty about it until he got caught! It was just so complicated. Harry really, really liked Clara a lot, he loved kissing her and talking to her. He always smiled when he saw her famously long blonde hair, or when he looked into her piercing blue eyes. He had tried so hard to not like Clara, and not to act on his feelings, for Ron's sake. He didn't want to hurt Ron, his very best friend, through thick and thin. But even though he didn't want to, Harry did. He had forgotten about his friend, for those few moments while kissing Clara, and in doing so, he had made the worst mistake possible. Good friends were harder to come by then girls were.

Harry sighed as he continued walking down the dark passageway. He had no idea how to make things right with Ron either. He didn't know what he could say to make his friend feel better, probably because there was nothing to say. Ron had every right to be mad and stay mad. Not only had Harry kissed the girl that his best friend was seriously crushing on, but he had also kept so many secrets from Ron as well. At first, Harry had no remorse for keeping a few secrets from his best friends, but now, he finally saw his mistake.

He knew he had to tell Ron and Hermoine both, all of the things he had been keeping from them. It was getting way to hard to carry the burden of those secrets for Harry. He remembered how he used to tell his two best friends right away if something was troubling him and he would feel a sweet relief for doing so. They always tried there hardest to help him and make his life a little easier. He was so selfish to not appreciate that. Even if Ron wouldn't listen to him, he had to at least try. Plus, Hermoine would listen; she always did, even though she has kind of pushed Harry away this year. All he had to do was try.

Harry was feeling better as he quickly strode down the staircase, trying to get back to the Gryffindor common room. He wanted to make things better right away, even though both of them were probably already asleep. He wanted things like they used to be as soon as possible, he hated it when anyone was angry with him.

Then, Harry started to remember the last time Ron was angry with him. It was in his fourth year, during the Triwizard tournament. Ron had been mad at him, up until he nearly got scorched to death by a fire-breathing dragon. Was that what he had to do? Did he have to almost die just to get Ron back on his side? _That's ridiculous!_ Harry told himself, shaking his head. He would try to be honest with Ron before he tried any _desperate_ measures.

As Harry rounded the corner of the hallway he ran into a tall figure—hard. "Potter? What are you doing roaming around the halls this late?" asked Professor Sprout curiously.

Harry was surprised that he had run into her, of all teachers. Usually, Snape was the one ruthlessly pacing these halls. He was grateful however, that he hadn't run into professor Snape because then, surely, he would have been expelled. Snape would have made sure of it. "I was just…" Harry thought for a moment what would be the best excuse, but nothing really sounded reasonable. So he basically told the truth, "I was thinking. Didn't really want to go back to the common room."

Her eyes softened from her aggravated look and she nodded. Sprout must have understood that he was thinking about what happened at the game. She seemed to pity him in the look she gave. "Well, you shouldn't be wandering the corridors this late. Get back to your common room, Potter."

Harry felt relieved as he started to walk away quickly. He was just glad that he didn't get into any more trouble than he already was in. Professor Sprout could have certainly given him a detention or—

"—and Harry!" she called back swiftly.

He turned around a little bit scared at what she was going to say. He looked at her expectantly as she added, "I'll have to report this to Dumbledore. But you're lucky that I didn't give you a detention."

He winced as he nodded obediently. He had almost gotten away with nothing, no punishment at all, which would have been nice, but it wasn't like a "report to Dumbledore" would really do anything. Dumbledore understood him and had so much faith in Harry. He wouldn't punish him. Harry knew this and he felt bad for taking advantage of Dumbledore's generosity and wisdom. Harry felt like he was letting Dumbledore down. He wanted to be as good as everyone else seemed to think he was, but it seemed that he always fell short of people's expectations.

Harry watched as Professor Sprout slowly turned and walked away from him and down the hallway. He hoped that he wouldn't run into anyone else on his way back to the common room. Harry ambled his way back the painting of the fat lady. He woke her up and said the password quickly, before crawling through the porthole.

It was nice to feel the warmth of the blazing fire and hear the silence of the common room. Harry noticed right away that Ron or Hermoine weren't there; only Ginny and Neville Longbottom were still awake. They were sitting in the corner doing their homework, but as he walked in, they had looked up at him. Both of them continued to stare as he strode towards them.

"Hi Harry." Neville said excitedly.

"Hey, Neville, what are you two doing?" asked Harry nicely. He was thankful that they didn't question him about the fight or Ron. He really didn't want to talk about it with them. He needed to talk to his best friends.

"I'm helping him with his History of Magic homework." Ginny added quickly. She seemed a little defensive. Harry looked between the two of them, with raised eyebrows. It was funny that Ginny was a year younger than Neville and she was the one helping him with his homework. Though, Neville wasn't exactly a star student and needed help sometimes, he found it a little odd that Ginny would know how to complete homework that was a grade above her.

"Oh" Harry said shortly before quickly and casually asking, "So have you seen Ron in here at all."

Ginny opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Neville.

"Ron was real mad. He just sat staring at the fire with that glower on his face. Then when Clara tried talking to him he stomped off up into the boys dormitories." Neville said worriedly.

"Yeah, he seemed pretty angry. Wonder what pissed him off so much…" Ginny replied while eyeing Harry. She probably expected him to tell her what had happened between him and her brother, but Harry wasn't exactly in a talkative mood.

"I thought Harry is what pissed him off," answered Neville confusedly. Harry couldn't help but laugh at his remark.

"You are exactly right." Harry grinned to himself. Good thing Neville had said something or else Ginny would have kept prying to know what happened. She looked at him disappointedly as he added. "I'm gonna go to bed, but if you need anymore help, Neville, just ask."

Harry woke up restlessly the next morning. He had gotten little sleep because he had been tossing and turning all night. He had been anxiously lying there in his bed, waiting until morning. He was impatient to talk to Ron, and so when he awoke, he quickly jumped out of bed. It took a matter of seconds for him to get dressed and ready for the day.

He quickly bound down the spiral staircase and into the empty common room. Harry figured that while it was morning, it still was quite early. He didn't think anyone would be up yet anyway. So all he had to do was wait for Ron.

Then Harry remembered that all he had to do was look into the bed next to him and their Ron would be. He could have just woken Ron up to talk to him. Harry felt stupid and wanted to go back up the stairs to get him, but thought that that might make Ron mad. Ron was always very fond of sleeping.

Suddenly, someone came through the porthole behind Harry, and he turned around to see none other than Hermoine.

"Hey Harry, I didn't expect you to be up this early."

Relief swept over Harry as he smiled and replied, "Hey, I was actually waiting to talk to you or Ron."

She looked kind of surprised for a moment and then quickly motioned towards the chairs in front of the fireplace. They both quietly walked towards the chairs and sat down swiftly. Harry said nothing at first, so Hermoine broke the silence. "Do you want to talk to me about the fight?" She looked at him as if she assumed that's what he wanted to say.

He shook his head and looked down a moment. This was going to be harder than he thought. "Well, not exactly. I have actually been keeping things from you and Ron."

"Oh?" Hermoine said a little on edge. She wasn't any happier than Ron was that Harry was keeping secrets.

"I just needed time to…..let it sink in." He said quickly, trying to make her understand. He didn't want Hermoine mad at him too. What would he do then?

"What is it?" she now had a concerned look on her face as she waited impatiently for him to reveal what he's been hiding.

"When Sirius died, that was really hard. You know…you saw how I was. Well, that night, the night where I had that horrible dream, well I talked to Dumbledore. He said that…..the dream was real." Harry took a deep breath and stated painfully, "Sirius is still alive."

Hermoine's eyes grew wide and she drew in a quick breath. She looked like she didn't know what to feel. Finally she exclaimed with a giant smile shining on her face, "Harry that's great!" He shot her a glance that told Hermoine right away that it wasn't. He looked so depressed and lost as he was sitting there looking at his hands. "Why is that bad?"

"Because Voldemort is keeping him like a slave. At least when I thought that Sirius was dead, I knew he wasn't suffering. Right now, Voldemort has him captive and I can't do a damn thing about it" Harry was so angry as he said these words. He had tried to forget that he even knew this. He wanted to keep that promise to Dumbledore not to try to save Sirius, but it was getting so hard. No matter how much he tried to not think about it, to pretend that he never knew, he just couldn't. Saying it out loud only made him angrier too; it was like saying it, made it real.

Hermoine wasn't saying anything to him as he furiously banged his fists on the table in front of him. It just wasn't fair, why did these kinds of things happen to good people; Sirius was the best person Harry had ever known. He was like his father, uncle, and friend all rolled into one. This wasn't how life was supposed to be, it was never supposed to be this hard. Where every day is a struggle just to make it through with out anything else going wrong. Everyday Harry would think to himself, _what am I doing here? I should be out saving my godfather!_ But alas, that stupid promise he made Dumbledore. And what was the headmaster even doing to save Sirius? Nothing, that's what. Absolutely NOTHING.

"Harry?" Hermoine spoke hesitantly. She looked over at him worriedly and she had her brows furrowed together. She looked at him trying to calm him down and make sense of what he had just unveiled to her.

"That's not all either." Harry replied bitterly, ignoring Hermoine's small plea for him to settle down. "Sirius is Clara's _father_. Yep, that's right. He either never bothered to mention her before, or he had absolutely no idea that he had a daughter. He's going to die without ever knowing her."

"Oh my god!" She said, caught a little off guard. She must have thought that the secrets were over, but oh was she wrong.

"And on top of it all, now Ron's pissed at me. He caught me kissing Clara. I've tried to not like her, and keep my distance, because Ron's my best friend, but when she told me about Sirius…..I just, couldn't deal with it all anymore. There's only so much I can take, Hermoine." Harry shook his head, as he looked over at Hermoine for any advice, whatsoever. He needed to know what to do because he had no clue anymore. She was so smart and clever; she could make it all better.

"Wow, that's a lot of secrets to keep." Hermoine swallowed and rubbed her forehead gently. This must be overwhelming for her, Harry thought to himself. He felt bad for keeping this from her. He also felt stupid, because she could have helped him. Her advice was usually golden. "How do you know Sirius is alive?"

"Dumbledore told me. He made me promise not to try and save him or anything because of what happened last time." Harry replied sadly. He didn't like having to sit and wait around for someone to help his godfather.

She nodded and said compassionately, "There is really nothing you can do about Sirius, Harry, even if you didn't promise Dumbledore. Voldemort is just keeping him to—"

"Torment me" Harry interjected emotionlessly, "That's what he said. He said he was doing this just to hurt me."

Hermoine looked worriedly at him, "Yes well I was going to say it might be another trap." She sighed and said, "I'm sure Dumbledore is doing everything he can to help Sirius. There's only so much he can do though."

"What exactly is he doing to help, Hermoine? I haven't seen or heard of him doing ANYTHING to help my godfather. He's just letting this happen." Harry didn't know why he was so angry with Dumbledore, he had no reason to be, but it was just such a frustrating situation. He felt like no one even cared about what was happening.

"He's going to be okay, Harry. Eventually, Sirius will be free and able to meet his daughter." Hermoine said hopefully. She was being optimistic and trying to cheer Harry up. It just was too hard for him to let go of all his sadness and anger.

"And about that, how did Sirius and Clara's mom even get together? It makes no sense because he never even mentioned having a woman in his life." Harry had been thinking about all these questions to himself since he'd found out yesterday that Sirius was Clara's father.

"That would be something to ask Clara" Hermoine replied shortly.

"Am I even allowed to talk to her anymore? I mean, that's how Ron got mad at me in the first place. I don't want him to get any angrier with me then he already is."

Hermoine looked at him and sighed, "Well, Harry, there's not much you can do to make Ron not mad at you. He has a right to be mad, but he'll get over it eventually. You should try to talk to him though, even if he turns you down."

"I know, I was going to talk to him and tell him about all these things I've kept from you guys. He found out that I was keeping things from him too when we were in McGonagal's office, and that made Ron even madder."

"Harry, I will try to talk to Ron for you and cool him down. Maybe you should wait until then because he is a little touchy right now." Hermoine answered helpfully.

He nodded and looked past her head, out the window. He saw an old friend's cabin and decided that's where he needed to go next. He had messed up with too many of his friends already; Harry wasn't about to lose Hagrid.

He got up to go, but after two strides he turned around and said simply, "Thank you, Hermoine."

She smiled at him like that was all she needed to hear. And Harry smiled back at her happily before turning once again to go see Hagrid. "Harry wait!"

He curiously walked back to Hermoine's side and looked into her eyes, "What is it?"

She bit her lip nervously before words quickly sprang out of her mouth, "Do you remember when I was going to tell you something, until people interrupted me?"

"Yeah" Harry replied. He had completely forgotten about that, it had been so long and he had been thinking about so many other things lately.

"Well, what I was going to tell you…it…" Hermoine looked like she was trying really hard to work up the courage to say something. He never thought she would be shy to say anything, but it seemed as if she were terrified to admit something. "I was going to tell you that I," she cringed as she whispered, "I have a crush on Ron."

"WHAT?" Harry laughed. He couldn't help it, this seemed completely ludicrous.

"Don't laugh!" she said exasperated. Hermoine seemed a little disgusted with herself, which was really funny to Harry. He thought that it was actually a good thing. "Please, do not tell him."

"He's not talking to me, how would I?" Harry answered with a tiny smile on his face.

"Just because I like R—" Hermoine embarrassedly stopped in mid-sentence when she saw Ron and Seamus walking down the spiral staircase.

She grew red as Ron glared at them both furiously. Harry's smiled disappeared completely and he stiffened at the sight of his best friend. There was silence in the room except for the sound of footsteps climbing down the stairs. It was just about the most awkward and tense moment Harry had ever experienced. When Ron reached the bottom of the staircase he sneered as he said, "Dumbledore wants to see you."

"Huh?" Harry questioned.

"He told me last night when he talked to me that I should tell you in the morning to go see him. So go." He said that last part especially nasty.

Harry nodded and slowly walked towards the porthole. Nobody said a word as he crawled through the porthole and he could feel Ron's angry eyes on his back as he left the common room. This was not going to be a good day.


	20. What Dumbledore Knows

Harry shook his head as he made his way to Dumbledore's office. Hermoine had just revealed some interesting information. She was in love with Ron. Well, maybe not in _love_, but she liked him. That little secret explained everything that she had done this year. When she got mad that Ron and I paid too much attention to Clara, it was because she was jealous. Harry felt stupid for not being able to see it before. It should have been obvious, but apparently, he was too busy for his own secrets to realize that.

He wondered what he could do to help Hermoine. She probably wanted Ron to notice her in the way that he noticed Clara. She must want him to feel the same way, so that she can be with him. Even though that would be weird for Harry, he wanted his friends to be happy and if it would make Hermoine happy to be with Ron, than Harry wanted to help. How could he help though, if Ron was still angry?

He would have to get Ron to forgive him before he could be any aid to Hermoine. Though it sounded simple, Harry knew this would be difficult. There was no excuse for what he did, but he had to try to make Ron understand. He would let his friend know about everything, he would tell Ron that Sirius was alive, that Sirius was Clara's father, and that all this stress was getting to Harry. Maybe Ron would sympathize, but Harry realized, that he didn't want sympathy; what he wanted was forgiveness. Maybe he shouldn't tell Ron these things just to guilt him into being his friend again. He should wait until Ron forgives him because he wants to, not because he feels like he has to.

Suddenly, Harry was in front of Dumbledore's office and he finally thought about the conversation that was to come. He wondered what the headmaster was going to say. Would he talk about Sirius? Maybe he found a way to save him! Or, maybe Sirius is dead. What if he just wanted to punish Harry further for the fight? Harry shook these questions out of his head and took a warm, calming breath to prepare himself for whatever was going to happen.

"Do you need the password, Harry?" asked a familiar voice behind him. He turned and when he saw who it was, he looked down at the linoleum floor awkwardly. The blonde haired Clara was standing before him. Harry didn't exactly think it was wise to talk to her because it might make Ron angrier, if that was even possible. He just wanted his friend back, and if that meant he couldn't talk to Clara, than that was a sacrifice he had to make. But she was just so beautiful……

"Er…sure" Harry was trying to be distant and not make eye contact. He didn't want to talk about that amazing kiss they had earlier, it would just be a reminder of what could never happen again.

"It's Earwigs" she replied. Harry couldn't tell what she was feeling right now; it seemed as if she was acting like nothing had happened. That wouldn't be so bad, Harry thought. If she acted like the kiss never happened, maybe it would be easier to explain that he couldn't talk to her anymore. He winced as he thought of this; he knew that telling her that would be infinitely difficult no matter how she behaved. "Uh…Harry?"

She was looking at him bewildered as he snapped back into focus. The gargoyles had parted already to make way for him. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there thinking, but he was embarrassed. His face grew red as he answered shyly, "Sorry"

He tried to walk away from her and down the passage to Dumbledore's office before she said anything, but that would have been too easy. She called out to him before he even got two steps away, "Can we talk later?"

Harry closed his eyes disappointedly. He just wanted to talk to Dumbledore and get Ron back as his friend. Why was it so complicated? All he had to do was tell her to leave him alone and then he was on his way. He just needed to be mean for about 2 seconds to her, so that she got the point.

The thing was though; Harry didn't know how to be mean. "Sure" He cursed at himself inside his head for being such an idiot. Why did he do that?

"Come get me when you are done talking to Dumbledore. I'll be in the library." She said happily and smiled before turning to walk away. She had a little bounce in her step as she sauntered down the halls. He felt bad because she was happy, and he was later going to make her not so happy. She'd probably be furious with him actually. He'd have to do it though, no matter how much it hurt her. He just had to suck it up and do it.

Enough of thinking about that, it was time to talk to the headmaster.

………………………………………………………………..

Harry had been sitting in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk for what seemed like eternity. The headmaster wasn't there, and Harry didn't want to snoop around or come back later, so he thought it would be best to sit and wait. It was getting a little hard to wait though, because Harry was beginning to get so impatient. There is so much they needed to talk about that it was getting difficult to not be so anxious.

"Ahh, Harry! I'm glad you're here." That was the exact voice that Harry had wanted to hear.

He looked back at Dumbledore not saying anything, but grinning happily. He was finally going to find out a few things that he has been wondering for a while.

Professor Dumbledore swiftly walked towards his desk. He looked a little weary, but he still managed to have a twinkle in his eyes. As he sat down in the seat behind his desk he looked down warmly at Harry. "Would you like to tell me about the fight?" His mood was hard to read; Harry couldn't tell whether he was angry or not.

"Well, I…I really screwed up." Harry paused a moment and glanced up at Dumbledore. He was silent and didn't push Harry to continue, which Harry always appreciated. He took a small breath, and carried on. "Ron has liked Clara since the beginning of the year. He has made a couple attempts at hinting to her how he feels, but nothing really happened between them. I didn't tell Ron, but I started to like Clara too. I wasn't planning on acting on my feelings…. but she kissed me. I pulled away and told her that I couldn't do that to Ron. That happened in the beginning of the year. Then, just yesterday before the game, she pulled me aside and told me that Sirius was her dad. She was upset because she thought he was dead and that she would never get to know him. We kind of yelled at each other for a while until I started to accept that my godfather was her dad. Then, I don't even know why, but I got a little depressed by thinking about Sirius, and him under the control of Voldemort. So she…she kissed me again. This time I didn't pull away. I feel so selfish for doing that and not even thinking about Ron. He walked in on me and Clara but I didn't even know, until he threw a punch at me."

There was silence. Harry looked embarrassedly down at the floor. He felt weird telling his headmaster about his love life, but it also felt good to let it all out. Plus, Dumbledore may give him some worthy advice; he always knew what to do, just like Hermoine.

"It must be difficult for Ron, seeing his best friend get everything that he wants" Dumbledore said this quietly after a few moments.

"But I don't want those things, all I want is what he has, a family." Harry retorted.

"Yes, I know. But imagine how it is for him. He sees you, his best friend, get all the attention, you get the girl of his dreams, you get appointed team captain of your Quidditch team, you're the most famous person in the magical word and he must live in your shadow."

"I would gladly switch places with him." Harry replied a little confused. He couldn't understand why one person would want to be him, or have what he has. He is an orphan because his parents were murdered, he has a psychopath trying to kill him, he has the fate of either defeating a dark lord or die trying, he has reporters writing ridiculous stories about him and he constantly has to look over his shoulder. Harry can't always trust everyone because they might be serving Lord Voldemort, and he also has relatives that despise him every waking moment of their lives. What was so good about being Harry Potter?

"No one will ever understand what you go through, Harry. No matter how much you tell Ron about your experiences, he could never understand the magnitude of the situations. He is your friend though, and he will try his best to comprehend, but sometimes there are a few things that you feel that you must keep to yourself." Harry knew what Dumbledore was getting at, "Why didn't you tell Ron about Sirius?"

He sighed for a moment. "I honestly don't know. I just didn't want to have to see his shocked and scared face once I told him the news. I didn't want to listen to advice about what to do or what to feel. I just wasn't ready to tell him, I guess." Dumbledore nodded as he looked over his half moon spectacles, "I told Hermoine everything this morning though."

"When are you going to tell Ron?"

"When I find a way to make him stop being mad at me. Last time he was angry with me was at the Triwizard tournament. He forgave me after that dragon nearly killed me. But I hadn't done anything then, this time I really did something horrible."

"Give it time"

Harry nodded in response and answered meekly, "How much time?"

"One can never know how long it will take for the heart to forgive." Harry smiled. Only Dumbledore would say something like that.

"Yeah….er, there were some other things on my mind that I wanted to ask you" Harry stated. He was eager to know more about his godfather. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and looked at Harry knowingly. "About Sirius" He added this slowly, hoping that the headmaster wouldn't tell him anything bad. He didn't know why he was all of the sudden becoming a little scared.

"Yes, of course."

"Have you been able to do anything to help him yet?" Harry looked at him hopefully.

Dumbledore took in a deep breath and replied reluctantly, "It's been difficult to compromise with Voldemort. He has Sirius Black heavily guarded and refuses to release him." Harry let out a puff of air; this was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to hear good news more than anything.

"Would he let Sirius go if I took his place?" asked Harry seriously. He wasn't just saying this; he really wanted to do this. If his godfather could risk his life for Harry's sake, then so can he. He'd do anything to stop Sirius's pain.

"Even if I allowed you to do that, Voldemort is evil and unfair. He would probably not free your godfather even if you made a deal with him."

"I could at least try." Harry argued. Even if there was the slightest chance that this could work, he had to take it. He could no longer stand by and pretend that this wasn't happening. At the same time, Harry got the feeling that Dumbledore wasn't telling him something. He didn't press the headmaster though. If Dumbledore felt that Harry shouldn't know something, then he would have to trust his judgment. He could not trust his judgment on rescuing Sirius, however. It might be okay with Dumbledore to sit back and do nothing for Sirius, but it was NOT okay with Harry. "Remember what the prophecy said?" asked Harry quickly.

The headmaster sadly raised his head at the mention of the prophecy. He nodded as he answered, "Of course"

"What if this is the time where I am supposed to defeat Voldemort. Where I finally kill him…or" Harry added uncomfortably, "where he finally kills me."

Dumbledore slowly clasped his hands together and put his chin on them. He was studying Harry quietly and not showing any emotion. He was actually considering this! Harry thought to himself wide-eyed. This could be it, the last time he would ever have to face Voldemort. Even though there was a risk of dying, Harry still felt a small comfort in the hope that this was the time that the prophecy spoke about. "You know I can't allow you to do that"

"Why not?" Harry shot back. He understood that Dumbledore didn't want to send him into the clutches of Voldemort, but he thought the headmaster would have allowed him to go if he was reminded of the prophecy.

"I promised Sirius that I wouldn't"

"But when would you have made that promise? He couldn't have known that this was going to happen and you haven't been able to talk to him while Voldemort's been keeping him…have you?" Harry's heart skipped a beat as he thought of Dumbledore being able to speak to Sirius while he was a slave to Voldemort. It also made him a little angry. Why wasn't he allowed to speak to his godfather?

"I visited him briefly."

"You know where he is? Tell me!" Harry asked quickly. If he only knew where Sirius was, that would be all he needed.

"I can't do that. I know what you're thinking Harry, but you must be patient. Trust me."

Harry did trust Dumbledore, but it was still hard to not be able to know anything about the very thing you thought about constantly. "But what if he dies and never meets his daughter?" This was another thing that he had wanted to bring up in the conversation. He wanted Dumbledore to tell him about Sirius and his mysterious past with Genevieve.

The headmaster showed a small smile as he replied, "I knew Clara would tell you." He looked away for a moment and stared at his pet phoenix that was in the cage. "Sirius will come out of this in the end. He always manages."

"How did he and Genevieve even have Clara? He never said anything about a child or a woman." Harry couldn't contain his curiosity anymore. He was dying to know more about his godfather. This was just as fascinating as when he was learning about his own dad.

"Well, Sirius and Genevieve were together almost as long as your father and mother were. If I remember right, I believe that they were married right before Sirius had to go into hiding. He was the secret keeper for your parents, as you know, and he didn't want to put Genevieve in danger because he knew Voldemort would try to get the password. So they stayed in separate hiding places. After the whole ordeal where Sirius had made Peter the new secret keeper and Voldemort had murdered your parents, he had gone back to the house where Genevieve was staying and it was destroyed. Sirius and everyone assumed that she was dead. I guess she was pregnant at that time and never got the chance to tell him."

Harry's breaths were shallow. He could not believe how unfair life had been to his godfather Sirius. He didn't deserve to go threw his life believing that he has nothing, when he has a family that he doesn't even know about. "Why was Genevieve's house destroyed? And how'd she get away?"

"That I do not know. There are many possibilities as to how or why, but I don't know what's right. All that I do know is that had pushed Sirius even more over the edge. He had lost so much in one night, that it was hard to cope; he blamed himself."

"How come nobody ever mentioned that he had a wife?" asked Harry. He was glad that at least he was finding the truth out about something.

"They had gotten married so soon before they had to go into hiding that only a selected few had a chance to find out."

Suddenly Harry thought of something, "When you visited Sirius, did you tell him that he has a daughter?" Harry hoped beyond hope that Dumbledore had done so. Sirius needed to know right away; he had gone through enough of his life without knowing.

Dumbledore looked at Harry thoughtfully and responded with a little bit of regret in his voice, "Maybe I should have while I talked with him, but it seemed as if he was in enough pain and had enough to think about. He didn't need another thing to burden himself with. Also, if Voldemort knew, he would certainly use that piece of information for evil."

Harry supposed that that made sense. He wouldn't want Voldemort taking Clara too. That would be going way too far. He would be forced to do something then.

There was abruptly a knocking sound on Dumbledore's office door that interrupted their conversation. "Headmaster, sorry to interrupt, but there's something that I think you should know." The voice belonged to none other than Professor Snape. Just by seeing him, Harry remembered how much Severus was in love with Clara's mom and then everything just made sense. No wonder why Sirius and Severus hated each other so deeply, they were in love with the same woman. That would also explain Snape's unnatural hostility towards Clara and Sirius. It was so obvious now!

"No trouble, me and Harry were just finishing up." Dumbledore looked at Harry and locked his sparkling eyes with Harry's. The headmaster was saying without words that he must tell Clara about how her father and mother came to be. Harry supposed that would mean that he would have to cancel his plans of no longer talking to Clara.


	21. Giving In

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters (except Clara)…blah blah blah!**

Harry was messaging his temples aggressively as he sat alone while thinking in the library. He had just told Clara about how Sirius and Genevieve had been in love since they were still at Hogwarts and how they were married. He had put it delicately when he explained how Sirius didn't even know Clara's mom was pregnant and that he had thought she died the same night his parents did. After telling her everything, he sighed, relieved that she finally knew the truth. Considering what he told her, she took it very well. After Harry explained it all to her, she tried to convince him to tell her where her dad was, but he found it best that she not know, he didn't know why. I mean, he told Hermoine about it, why couldn't he tell Clara? Harry couldn't reason why, maybe it was because she would have probably had the same reaction as he had, she would have wanted to rescue him.

Now he was still alone and it was getting late. Harry finally rose from the table he had been sitting in for hours and sluggishly headed out of the library. He walked around the corridors deep in thought about all the drama in his life and before he knew it, he was standing in front of the porthole.

He quickly murmured the password and crawled through it. Harry hoped that he wasn't out too late because there was a certain someone that he needed to talk to. As he scanned the common room he was delighted to see about a dozen people were still awake, one of those people being Ron. Harry knew that Hermoine had said he should wait until she talked to him or until he cooled off, but he felt that this couldn't wait.

Ron was doing his homework with Hermoine by the fire. He looked frustrated as he wrote down on his scroll vigorously. Harry meekly hoped that Ron's frustration wouldn't turn into anger once they started to talk.

"Err…Hey Ron." Harry tried to present a convincing smile, but he felt like he wasn't even close.

"I'm still mad." Ron replied shortly without even looking up. Well, at least he answered back, thought Harry.

"You don't have to talk to me, I just really think I should tell you something." He pleaded trying not to sound too desperate.

"I don't want to hear an apology if that's what you're going to tell me. Saying sorry doesn't magically fix everything." Ron's voice was cold, so freezing cold, that Harry cringed a little.

"It's not an apology. I already said I'm sorry." Harry took a quick glance at Hermoine who was giving him a look that asked him what in the hell was he doing. "I didn't tell you about Sirius because it was really, really bad news. I didn't want to have to say it because it upset me too much and I felt like I shouldn't burden you with my problems."

Ron had stopped writing on his scroll, but still didn't look up. Harry took a deep breath, then, he told him exactly what he told Hermoine, everything.

………………………….

After Harry told Ron all about Sirius, and Clara being his daughter, all went silent. Ron didn't say a word, and Harry didn't really care if he spoke or not. Now the truth was out, and there were no more secrets.

Hermoine looked impatiently between the two boys, like she was waiting for them to say something. Finally she gave up and exasperatedly and said, "Ron, don't you have anything to say?"

"Don't you?" He shot back irritably. She looked puzzled a moment until he continued, "Or did he already tell you all his secrets?"

She looked taken aback once she understood what he was talking about. Ron was mad that Harry hadn't told him first! "Harry didn't tell me about it until just this morning, and he was going to tell you, but he couldn't find you."

"Well that's nice." Ron's voice sounded bitter. He went back to writing on his scroll like nothing had just happened. He obviously was still not very happy.

Harry didn't care whether Ron forgave him right now or not. It would happen eventually, but what he wanted right now was reassurance and advice. "Do you think Voldemort still has some control over my mind?" He didn't know why this question had tumbled out of his mouth, but it was a very valid thing to be worried about. This had been a fear in the back of his mind for quite some time.

At this, Ron had dropped his pen and put his hands gently on the table in front of him. Hermoine just looked confusedly at Harry, until she answered, without even really thinking about it, "I'm sure he couldn't still be controlling you, Harry."

"But it makes sense. I've been angrier this year and Voldemort has a knack for making you feel that way. He did that to me last year, he made me want to hurt Dumbledore."

"Are you sure you weren't just angry this year because you thought Sirius had died?" Ron finally spoke. He didn't necessarily sound friendly, but Harry was sure he was at least interested in the conversation.

"I've thought about that, and even after I accepted Sirius' death, I still felt it. I didn't even know why I felt mad, either."

"He must have a little bit of control if he can still make you have those dreams," Hermoine reasoned.

Harry gravely nodded. He knew that it was true, but it was still hard grasping that Voldemort could control certain things about him. "Yeah…" He remembered all those nights after that one dream when he wouldn't sleep at all.

"I'm going to bed." Ron interjected suddenly before gathering all of his homework that he had been attempting to do, and jumbled it up into his arms. He turned with his jaw clenched and his shoulders stiffly set and walked up the staircase. Once he entered the boys' dormitories, Harry and Hermoine both looked at each other.

"Okay?" Hermoine said with eyebrows raised. She shook her head and rolled her eyes while she broke out into a slight smile

"So how is it like being in love with Ron? He seems thrilled!" Harry couldn't help but try to lighten the mood. He was also fascinated by Hermoine's crush on Ron, it was simply hilarious to Harry.

Her face was abruptly flushed, and she answered back with clenched teeth, "I think it's time we ALL get to bed."

Harry laughed at her as she stormed off into the girls' dormitories. He was still smiling when he lay down in his bed. He slept quite soundly that night.

…………………………………..

Harry found himself bored out of his mind in Defense of the Dark Arts class two days later. The teacher, Ms. Lachlan, was the most forgettable person he had ever met. She wasn't tall nor short, she wasn't pretty or ugly, she wasn't fun nor was she strict, she wasn't mean, but she wasn't nice either. She was just sort of…there. She was talking about some creatures called Grubworms, which interested no one. Harry could tell everyone else in the class, besides Hermoine, was counting down the minutes until they could leave.

"Um…Harry? Why are you ignoring me?" Clara asked worriedly. She had been trying to talk to him since he told her about Sirius, but every time she tried, he had to "go".

"I'm not ignoring you. What makes you think that?" Harry replied unconvincingly.

"Oh bull shit. All I want to know is where my father is and then I'll leave you alone. I mean what does it matter that you kissed me then decided to ignore me, whatever. I don't even care about that. What I care about is my dad. So tell me." Harry had never heard anyone whisper something with such a pleading tone. She really wanted to know.

"I'm not going to tell you about him now. Sirius—"

"Potter and Delmont, how about you save the conversations for after class." Ms. Lachlan was behind them and her sharp gray eyes were narrowed on the two.

"Sorry" they both mumbled quickly.

As the teacher resumed to rambling on and on, Harry noticed the glare that Ron gave him. Damn it, Harry thought to himself. He had tried so hard to not to talk to Clara, especially in front of Ron, but of course, the one time he does talk to her, Ron sees him. There was just no winning.

After twenty more minutes of excruciating boredom, the class was over and it was off to lunch. When the bell had rung, the entire class jumped up so fast and ran out of the room that the teacher had no time to object.

As Harry strolled down the hallway watching Ron and Hermoine race ahead of him, he could feel a presence behind him. "Clara, I don't want—" He turned around and was surprised to see Ms. Lachlan peering up at him.

While Ms. Lachlan wasn't short, Harry was still taller than her because he had suffered a growth spurt over the summer of about three inches. She looked at him sternly as she stated, "No, I'm afraid I am not your little girlfriend, Clara." She said this so matter-of-factly that it was irritating. Of course Harry knew she wasn't Clara, she didn't have to act like he was dumb, "While I do not mind you having friends, Mr. Potter, I mind it when you decide to socialize in my classroom, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am" Harry answered robotically.

"I'm sure whatever you were going to tell Clara could have waited." Professor Lachlan didn't give Harry the chance to reply before she turned on her heel and stalked off; leaving him to look after her in wonderment. _I guess she was listening to our conversation a little more than I thought._

"Harry!" This time it really was Clara that was talking to him. "Can we talk?"

"Sure" he said not at all too excited. Oh well, Ron already thought they were together and talking anyways, he might as well.

She led the way up a staircase and across the corridor into a bathroom. She pushed Harry inside of it and then quickly entered while locking the door behind her. "Um, why are we in a bathroom?"

"Because, no one comes in here since, for some odd reason, people in this school don't see the need for a shower." She said this like conversing in the bathrooms was such a normal occurrence. Maybe that's the way it was with girls, but guys just liked to get their business done and leave.

"Oh" This was all Harry could think of to say. He was just waiting for her to ask about Sirius…again.

"So…..?" she questioned expectantly.

"So what?" Harry asked.

"You know what I'm talking about. Where is my father?" Clara literally started tapping her foot impatiently, like that was going to convince him to tell her.

"I just don't think it's a good idea for you to know…" Harry started running his hand through his hair. "You will probably want to go and get him, if I tell you, but you can't. So it's just better if—"

"What if I promise not to do anything stupid or to try to go after him?" she asked this hopefully and gave him the most to-die-for pouty face he had ever seen.

"Well, you could break your promise and then…"

"I won't!" she interrupted yet again. Clara was like a child begging their parent for candy as she looked at Harry. He was such a pushover that he had no choice but to give in.

"Sirius is…he…he's trapped somewhere." Harry thought that was an okay start. It was harder explaining it than he had thought, but then again, it always was hard.

"What do you mean, where's he trapped at?" she asked completely befuddled.

"Well, I don't know the exact location, per say. I just know the person that is trapping him."

"Who," she breathed. Harry could see the worry in her eyes.

"Voldemort."

As he had said this, he could have sworn he heard her gulp and gasp as the same time. She backed up a little towards the wall and slid slowly down to the ground. She shook her head as she said to no one in particular, "It's just one bombshell after the other." He walked over to where she was and sat beside her.

"I know it is hard, having to learn something so huge and life changing almost every week, but Dumbledore said he is doing everything he can." Harry didn't even believe his own reassuring words. He started wondering whether or not he was comforting Clara or himself.

"I almost wish that my father was Snape instead. At least then I would be able to meet him."

"Don't say that."

"Why not?" she scoffed challengingly.

"Because Sirius was the best godfather to me that I could ever ask for. I never knew what it was like to have a family before he came along. Sure, I lived with the Dursely's but they despised me and my parents. That's not a family. If he was that great of a godfather to me, than he will make a kick ass real dad to you."

"Yeah he probably would have been a great father." Clara said sadly.

"He's not dead yet! And he's not going to die!" Harry shot back irritably. Why was she giving up so easily? Sirius Black still had a chance at life.

"Harry thanks for telling me about my dad and all, but now would be a good time to start ignoring me again."

"I was only trying to not talk to you while I was in front of Ron. The last thing I need is to piss him off even more!"

"Yeah, well either way, he is still going to be mad at you. But I guess you'd rather lose two friends instead of just one."

"That's just it, I don't want to lose anyone as a best friend." Harry shot back exasperatedly.

"Not talking to me isn't really helping that mission then." Clara hissed at him. He could tell that what he was doing was hurting her. Maybe she was right, that just because he wasn't talking to her anymore, that didn't mean Ron would all of a sudden forgive him. If he did openly talk to her though, in the halls and at lunch, that would be like saying to Ron that a girl was worth more to him than a best friend was. At the same time though, Clara had become a best friend to him, and he would hate to lose yet another one of those.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do when people get mad at me. I promise to stop ignoring you as long as you keep your promise about not trying to rescue Sirius."

She looked at him suspiciously, making sure that his apology and offer was genuine and when she saw that it was, she smiled. "It's a deal." She gave him a small peck on the lips before getting up and dusting off her ripped jeans. Harry wasn't expecting that and just looked at her as she continued to brush the dirt off her butt.

"I was thinking…since we were already caught kissing…there's no reason to hide it anymore. I want to be with you, and if you want to be with me, we should be open about it."

"Huh?" Harry asked dully.

"What do you say? Do you want to be with me, like 'go out'?" she asked with a nervous smile.

Harry thought about it and figured that this was really what he wanted. He had been denying himself of it because of Ron, and as much as he tried to please his best friend, Ron wasn't giving in. He might as well let himself get what he wants because he no longer has his best friend to worry about. Ron didn't care what he did anymore. "I would love to go out with you." She flashed a lovely smile and threw her arms around Harry while pushing her lips roughly against his. She nibbled his lower lip playfully and all he could think to himself was, _I get to do this with her every day now?_


End file.
